Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
stopinthenameoflove
Dublin, Ireland
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
why
United States
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Pita
United States
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Anonymous
Nice imagery
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML
Noname
United States
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Anonymous
Cape Town, South Africa
The Conquest of Bread
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
loserllamalick
Rochester, United States
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Top comments
spidergirl41 0
Does she like carrots? Also, don't forget the ranch!!! xD
Dmaster22 0
your penis is orange? JK FYL
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Comments (195)
cherrypieguy 0
Ydi for having orange junk
MooTaters 0
tell her she fails for feeling the need to name a penis then falcon punch her.
OMGoriginality 0
I roflol'd on that one!
stone_light 0
ydi because that name fails compared to that "squirtle" guy.
tiger69 0
this is from rescue me
l3rett 1
you think that sux my girlfriend nick named mine tiny tim
athos1237 4
First FYL. Second Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! YDI for posting this. What idiot posts that his girlfriend thinks his dick is a lil' baby carrot. You and the guy with no skills that let his girl update her facebook are morons. That;s why it ended up as a FYL. Your morons so your life is F'ed
tommyboy1392 0
omg someone who agrees with me
painterpeace 0
I think ur the moron here since u can't spell thats
myexsucks 0
Well....maybe if she didn't walk in on you humping her stuffed animal rabbit, she wouldn't nickname your penis "little baby carrot" (assuming you're the guy from another FML who humped a stuffed animal rabbit, that is).
dreamchaser 0
LMFAO!! it did occur to me!
gigg_squad 0
haha. either ur dick is tiny or u need a new girlfriend
sharris1221 0
hahahahah but that doesnt beat "Squirtle" (FML post a few weeks ago)
howardms 0
HAHAHA! Hilarious.