Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
stopinthenameoflove
Dublin, Ireland
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
why
United States
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Pita
United States
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Anonymous
Nice imagery
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML
Noname
United States
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Anonymous
Cape Town, South Africa
The Conquest of Bread
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
loserllamalick
Rochester, United States
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Top comments
spidergirl41 0
Does she like carrots? Also, don't forget the ranch!!! xD
Dmaster22 0
your penis is orange? JK FYL
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Comments (195)
9az00 0
you shouldve been like "do you want some ranch dressing with that"
efmivida 0
that calls for some gross images man...
moonsolomon 0
Are you a ginger? I was reading something online where Luna nicknamed Ron's penis "Salty Carrot"- salty for obvious reasons, carrot because of his red hair. *shrug* But condolences on the "little baby" part. I know "little" is never a word a guy wants associated with his penis.
evlbb2 2
Thanks for the info on what youre reading. .-. xp
MelanieBerrigan 0
LOL'z omfg this is like friggen hilarious shiznitttttttttttttttttttttt
birds_fml 7
Are you the boyfriend who jiggled his girlfriend's thigh and sang the Jello song? If so, YDI.
CFR 0
I hope she doesn't talk to it... "Awwweeeee whoseee mai wittle baybeee cayrwot? You is!!"
bob1233 0
LMFAO! 50 is awesome.
City_Chick 0
LMFAO
Kervik 0
Give it meats like beef and one day it'll be big and strong. XD
ChildrenOfFilth 12
FYL for having a "small" carrot
RESTAREA 0
Now I'm debating if baby corn would be worse than baby carrot or not... hmmm... Hey, even if it is a carrot, remind her that it isn't nice to bite down.
laomaostu 0
lmao