By Anonymous - United States - Newtown Square
Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML
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By  annalily5  |  28

Did you not know what her business was when you asked? Did you expect to get a top tier position, that others might be better suited for, just because you two are dating? I'm having a hard time feeling bad for you when you basically got what you asked for: a job based off nepotism. Times are hard, you got a job just by asking. If you don't want it, apply to other places and let an immigrant Korean woman (to go with stereotypes) who will work for half the money take the job. Don't expect your girlfriend to pay you without you actually having to work, her business is too new for that.


And how did OP not know what the business was? You don't just launch a business after thinking about it a couple hours. It's a long process, and it's just strange OP didn't know. At least he doesn't seem to.

  annalily5  |  28

Particularly since it's his girlfriend. I presume she has talked to him about it. So either he was a bit of an ass and never listened, or was a bit of an ass and expected her to create a cushier position just for him.

  gracehi  |  31

Who says he didn't know? Nothing in the FML implies that he didn't know what he was getting into--only frustration that he's had to resort to it due to his layoff.

  Brandi_Faith  |  33

Right, but the real question is why are people getting their butt hair bleached?!? I mean if you were doing something down there for aesthetic reasons you'd think they'd just wax it, or trim i even, but bleach? Are they hoping people will be like "oh look, that hair is so light I can barely even see it."

  HeartYou101  |  31

Porn stars get their ass hairs/vagina hairs (that are in too hard places to get waxed)/gooch hairs bleached...Although, I reckon the OP's girlfriend opened a beauticians and obviously the OP isn't qualified to wax/tweeze eyebrows, give facials, do makeup, etc., so all they can do is bleach buttholes, unless they decide to do a beauty therapy course...

By  annalily5  |  28

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  Brandon1000  |  10

I find it hard to believe that OP's current wage is at least twice minimum wage, so if his girlfriend paid a Korean woman half his current wage it would be illegal.

By  Tripartita  |  44

I'm imagining that the OP applied for a sort of mundane assistant job and got more than they bargained for.
"Alright, newbie, I take my coffee with two sugars, like my reports fresh off the printer so they're still warm, and will be needing my asshole bleached every Tuesday."
"Oh, uh, if you're bleaching his asshole, could you do mine too?"
"I'd also like to get in on this."
"I'm requesting a Friday bleaching. You know, fresh for the weekend."