Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, when I was a teen, I felt inferior for being flat-chested. So I got a boob job. As an adult, I started yoga and meditation. Then I felt foolish for not embracing my natural self and having plastic stuff in me. Got the implants out. Now I'm happy with my looks but have nerve damage from the procedures. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me, saying she'd started to appreciate herself more with the help of a therapist. That I paid for her to visit. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend’s arm implant didn’t work this one time we had sex during our closure talk. Now I’m stuck having a baby with a girl I don’t even love anymore, and I have figure out how to explain this to my current girlfriend, who I do love. FML
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Top comments
TheZman 0
You should have proceded to take a needle and pop those bitches
Nitros_fml 0
Well if she dumps you, say "Hmm isnt the left one slightly bigger?" No matter who tells her they are fine, it will still eat away at her :)
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Comments (198)
Parham 0
This has to be fake. It's rule #1 you never pay for your gf's impants.
wowfmlife 0
i moderated this one!
TryToBeKind 0
What a bitch! Hm. Was this considered a 'gift' or is it something you can get her to pay back in small claims court? Did you live with her as if you were husband and wife for a certain period? Depending on the state or province you live in (if you're in the US or Canada, that is), you may be considered common-law husband and wife. The amnt. of time you live together and the rules differ, though. It's possible that that can be taken into consideration when you do slit up with her but then again - you may end of paying HER for stuff. Ew.
alex_vik 1
#46 - Have fun being fake.
ilikadapepsi 0
you should've told her to walk home
xClarkGable 0
#19: Don't insult someone until you know you can spell it right. I used to want fake ****, and then I got self esteem. All of these people saying "pop them!" are insane. What she said was mean, but it definitely wasn't something worth killing her over. If those babies pop, she can die. Are you sure it wasn't a joke? Cause a lot of people joke like that.
barbie0417 0
why the fck are ppl acting like lawyers? talkin about court and actin like they know wat they're saying. calm thee hellll down. anddd. yur a idiot. its sad for wat she said. but y the hell wud yu ever pay for her fake boobs. if i was a guy; i wud've dumped the hoe wen she said she wanted fake boobs!
hellFighter 0
That's why you don't pay for them
cyxx 0
46 - it's whaling (or i guess you could say wailing over), and I don't understand why you would get fake **** unless you're a shallow person. Unless you had breast cancer or something like that, but voluntarily getting such an expensive surgery for the sole purpose of increasing the size of your boobs? How is that not shallow? OP - don't know why you would pay for 'em. Stick her with the tab if you can.
mehwhateverr 0
Ugh, what a bitch. Force her to pay you back for them.