By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 051
You deserved it 4 614

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Find a better job ! Then he'll be begging for you to come back ! FYL


palatapus 0

At least he gets to see her everyday?

LMFAOwned 9

YDI for not buying ake boobs at like Sam did in iCarly. or... YDI for not having a big enough dick to seduce him even though you're a guy. 

plastic surgery eh? sorry if this comes out twice my comment went poof. 

KiddNYC1O 20

proving yourself worthy? sexually, I hope

well then, use those stocks and invest in some new breast implants

Well of course he wants the assistant with a built in cupholder.

joeyrocks 0
runswithwolves 0

this isn't an fml. you're just whining! be better at seduction!

Op proving yourself worthy to a heterosexual older man isn't increasing sales or efficiency in the company. He wants someone he can "enjoy" working with. Anyway, how do you know knew girl isn't better qualified than you?

get back at your boss by dating her.

Sexywhiteboy 0
kellanlvr 1

ok? what does her boobs have to do with anything maybe you just suck at your job!

BoyFromTheFuture 0

agreed^ if you were truly an asset you wouldn't have to change the way you work in order to obtain a promotion. what makes you think that you are the number 1 option without sales experience. Yeah her boobs are big and fake but if she has any sales experience you can't say anything.

Why are people assuming op is a man? it doesn't say does it?

badschuster 0

bet you didn't mention you wanted to touch em(or do other stuff) now did u?

goliatron 9

How the hell would you "prove" yourself if you're working in the stocks? Besides, put yourself in the customer's shoes. Especially in retail, if you're a ugly girl and you see an attractive girl wearing the clothes from the store, the customer subconsciously thinks "maybe I can look good too if I wear the same clothes". Stuff your bra and maybe the boss will notice you ;) If your a guy.... um, stuff your crotch and hope your boss is bisexual?? lol good luck either way.

1: As 67 said, she may just be better at sales than you. No need to jump on the bitchy, feminist bandwagon quite yet. 2: Even if he did hire her for her boobs, he did the right thing for the business. My friend owned a bar with a big chested waitress, and she brought in tons of customers. He made the sensible decision in this economy.

A ******** beats a good job every time.

Sucks for you OP, but you sound so bitchy. : maybe she's nicer. Maybe, if you're working in retail, for example, she'es better suited because she might be more concerned with her image and therefore makes a huge effort to be fashionable. She might be more sociable and easy to talk to, or she just might be nicer. And more qualified, as other people've said. :P But still sucks for you. Keep trying.

get used to it. this happens in non-sales/customer facing jobs too. big fake boobs like hedi montag = promotion or better job. this will happen to you throughout your career, even in the medical field. But your coworkers who are better educated (Ms, Phd) or experienced will hate you.

you obviously don't understand the concept of **** OR GTFO.

i like *******! big, firm (yet bouncy) ones!!

gingernator 0

130, you have the right idea

136: Sometimes it's obvious. OP: Show up to your next shift or employee review with a giant stuffed bra under your shirt. Or if you really want to make a statement, do the same after taking a short vacation for "medical reasons." Bonus points if you're a guy.

Did you ever think that maybe there was other reasons for it other than the fact that she has fake breasts?

StopTheFuckinCar_fml 0

i guess u need to get fake boobs fast!!!!!

plastic surgery, If you want my mom can donate some? ;) fyl.

FFML_314 11

Are you trying to sell pieces of your moms breasts on FML? Lol! Nice :P

possibly o.O' when she hugs me I have trouble breatheing );

SMJ210 0

No she's donating them. Maybe the OP is on a budget.

I'll sell them if the op pays, pennys count.

What's the going rate these days like 5k a lb? Black market boobies ought to sell 1/5 that.

Can I ask a question? Why do men like boobs? I know guys that are obssesed with them, I have other questions but they just won't go with the topic.

I heard they developed in size because as humans went from "doggie style" to face to face sex and it was an evolutionary thing to resemble the bum, ya know? two big round mounds on both sides. And it prolly has to do with cultural and physical stuff.

Woah that's very nice xD anyway's since you got the topic of 'doggie style' Why do guys like it by the back better? that was the last question promise, I feel like a retard.

idk I'm a virgin but Ithink it'stighter and feels better but I think it's kinda weird personally not that I wouldn't try if I had the opportunity.

Same, it sounds painful anyways, thanks for awensering my questions xD I have to sleep now Goodnight o.O

68- LOL. no idea why guys love boobies. its just a sex life.

well they probably help make sales better

75: Watching too much David Brent again, aren't you? ;) 81: *blushes* I'll answer you despite my embarrassment because it takes guts for a virgin to ask such things-- guts I wished I had when I was a virgin. The position allows for, erm, deeper penetration and more male control (without as much physical exertion as missionary or other male-controlled positions), and causes a visually-pleasing bouncing effect. I suspect the preference also has to do with a sense of domination, spanking convenience, and the implied anal connotations. It's a primal position that tends to have more to do with purely physical, animal satisfaction and less emotional intimacy (screwing or f*cking as opposed to making love).

o.O' My god, So many weird thoughs xD anyway's I don't think I'll every try that. Thanks for the info 

It's cultural. We have decided that they are a symbol of femininity and thus must be hidden. So... wah lah. They are sexy. I have never heard the idea that they evolved in order to resemble the butt, but I seriously doubt that. In most non-Western cultures, breasts are not considered to be sexual or attractive at all. The same way that other cultures would think our supermodels are unattractive. Most of what we find sexy is cultural. Take a college course in Human Sexuality and you will get SCHOOLED on the ethnocentrism of our visions of sexuality, haha.

The other problem with using evolution to explain things like that is that evolutionary psychology is methodologically flawed. You see something and then retroactively try to explain it. Ex. "I think boobs and butts look the same SO we must have evolved to like boobs because we already liked butts." It is easy to track the path of physical evolution because of the fossil record, but psychological evolution is 99% guesswork. For example, we know that the ****** gradually moved to the front of the pelvis as people started to have face-to-face sex, but maybe they started doing that because they liked boobs, and not because boobs followed? And again, that makes the ethnocentric assumption that all societies work the same way that our does and like the same things. Obviously, "culture" is a difficult idea to socially quantify, making people hesitant to just use it to explain everything, but evolutionary psychology is just as generalizing and useless. In an unrelated note: The USA only has one state (Michigan) that bans discrimination based on looks. They get very few cases, because no one wants to go in and say, "Look, I'm obviously ugly. That's why this person fired/didn't hire/didn't promote me.

GDinNJ 0

@papernapkin the way, it's "voila" not "wah lah." It's French for "there," as in "there you have it." ...wah lah...lmao

How is this thumbed down? Big **** rule, they get women success. How else would they get ahead on the work force?

Find a better job ! Then he'll be begging for you to come back ! FYL

FFML_314 11

Why would you want to work for someone like that? I would try and find a different company OP. :)

SourCandyyz 0
hahafylop 4