Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
drayloon 50
So you cheated on her with her? Oh ok that makes sense
Cheeley 17
Well lock the door in case she does.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (160)
shadokis 15
The smartest comment on here was 21's "dude, run. Just run." She came in while he was sleeping, so I'm guessing she already had a key and left with it too. Move OP, move far, far away!
rhevenge 19
well good. let her leave. she obviously didn't love you enough to stay
ohioain 18
Aw. That's cute you kissed her back passionately like that. She's lucky.
HumanWiki 8
She's a c*nt. You're better off without her.
KingreX32 21
f you're life dude. Thats crazy.
poopdodo1234 4
I don't see the problem here. You should be glad the bitch is gone lol
Raykyogrou03 12
Dump the crazy bitch.
illegalbeagle69 23
Yeah that was stupid of you to not make sure the woman in your bed was your girlfriend.
arsenicalhumor 30
Eesh, good riddance from the sounds of it. That is such an odd thing to get upset about.
toalysium 15
Bullet dodged, don't pick up the phone and jump back in the line of fire!