Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML
Today, my girlfriend likes playing games on her phone more than she likes me. FML
Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my Mii knocked out her Mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one-player mode. FML
Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML
Today, my girlfriend planned our day, she wanted to play FIFA before having sex. I won 11-0. She stormed out of the room, went home and isn't picking my calls / texting back. It's been 12 hours. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, after weeks of being addicted to Bejeweled Blitz, I couldn't stop thinking about it while having sex with my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
flee2321 10
I would leave.
kjoule 5
Get or flapping or else you will be left to fapping...
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Comments (139)
foxwasalamb 24
i prefer whale trail. commence the multitude of haters
GoBigRed 6
Delete her flappy bird app.
stripepanther 10
How high of a score? 5?
communisttaco 16
Flip her the bird. I have a serious problem...
Migole 36
Wow you must have incredibly shitty sex if she can stand not having it for a while. Also that's a dick move and a sign for an unhealthy relationship if she thinks it's ok to use sex as a way to manipulate you. Sex is something you should both enjoy equally and it's not some kind of privilege women give to men. If she isn't woman enough to discuss eventual issues she might have with your relationship/sex life but instead uses manipulative/passive aggressive moves like this you should really rethink being with her.
Dave_Davington 35
People still play Flappy Bird? Sigh, and here I was hoping that the fad was well and truly dead.
MrChaos19 14
I honestly don't get how that poorly programmed game got so damn popular in the first place. I played Flappy Bird for 5 minutes then stopped.
spikekutter 9
well, i guess you will turn into a fapping bird..
an3ph 20
Your death is nigh.
MasterGamer591 13
Challenge accepted. Sex isn't everything. Seems like people here on FML talk about it like their life depends on it.
magiczebra 9
It's not that he has to live without sex for a while, it's that she's using sex as a reward to manipulate him with. No couple should have sex because he beat the high score, or he washed the dishes, or any other task. A couple should have sex because they both want to. Many women treat sex like it's some pawn to get their man to do what they want, and that's a problem.
hannalovesr5 4
What is her score?