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Today, my neighbor asked me to check in on his pet. When I went into his house, I couldn't find any animals. I searched all over, and finally gave up and called him. I asked him what type of pet he had. His response? "My pet rock, Stubby." That's right, I just spent some time looking for a rock. FML
neighbor has a pet rock and OP didn't think to ask what kind of pet. they deserve each other.
On the day before your neighbor returns, take a dump in the middle of his living room, and put Stubby next to it. Accidents happen.