Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
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Top comments
Jaxro 6
Your girlfriend must be made of pure win, that's hilarious. Just wear a shirt..
3ree 0
if its on your back, clearly you couldnt write it on yourself.
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Comments (134)
AntiChrist7 0
your girlfriend is an idiot or a pervert. YDI
you_not_me_OWNED 0
wouldn't you be able to feel that she was writing, not spreading sunscreen everywhere?
MagicMeds 0
THIS!!!!!^ Damn some people are stupid
biwinning88 1
that's EXACTLY what I was thinking
Link5794 18
What if she wrote in negative space, i.e. spread it around where the letters would go.
sebastian406 0
LMAO that's hilarious. Your girlfriend is awesome!
kayaun 0
I think your girlfriend has an awesome sense of humor lol. People will understand anyway. Unless you're an octopus, it's impossible for anyone to write something on their backs. And no perverted paedophile will advertise his fascination with little boys so openly. It's fine. Lucky you. Cool girlfriend you have,
Silhouette_fml 0
Wear some make-up on your back to cover the words...?
buhrittanyerin 6
if he's a swimming instructor it would wash off..?
Stay_beautiful 0
I agree with #12...how could you not notice something like that? Are you some kind of moron? And to everyone else, it was a joke. Don't take it so seriously. It doesn't make his gf a perv. I'm positive someone else would do the same thing if they had a chance. I know I would. At least I'm honest.
xOpheliacx 0
Your girlfriend is dumb. FYL. And even if people WOULD understand the joke, who would want to EXPLAIN it all the time, until it went away?
knitbitch 0
HAHAHAHA Made my day... Do you live in Florida or something? Because it snowing and miserable where I live...:-(
zap_fml 0
Your girlfriend is hilarious. Everyone else needs to lighten up.
musicsnob79 0
Your girlfriend rocks. I bet she and I would be friends. :)