Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
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Top comments
Jaxro 6
Your girlfriend must be made of pure win, that's hilarious. Just wear a shirt..
3ree 0
if its on your back, clearly you couldnt write it on yourself.
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Comments (134)
dcapp 0
#12 is right how did you not feel that she was making lines on your back and not spreading the lotion around?????? this is fake
d3463 0
Your gf is an idiot and has a sick sense of humor. More over, how did you not feel that she was writing something on your back? Are you unfamiliar with getting lotion put on your back? Unfamiliar with backrubs? Completely oblivious to the fact that the sensation of a fully lotioned back feels different that someone writing in lotion on your back? Have fun with you idiot girlfriend. Sounds like a prize... NOT!
dvineinfekt 0
actually - to the guys who say you'd feel the writing...believe me. You can fake the motions with one hand, and write with the other, so long as your other hand is cool. Assuming they were at a beach or pool or something, it was perfectly reasonable. I think this is hilarious. But only cause its been done to me too...and this time its not me.
mutlis 0
FAKE... sorry, but you'd know if someone was writing something on your back with sunscreen as opposed to rubbing it in
Omsok 0
I suggest using Tiger Balm as lubricant. It is actually quite pleasurable for both, but the initial shock will scare her when you tell her this is payback. :)
rverboom 0
Wow you must be stupid if you didn't feel her WRITING on your back as opposed to RUBBING her hands in motion to rub the lotion on your back. Unless your body was NUMB.
rverboom 0
wow and to #87, im pretty sure it would take quite a bit of skill to lead to the girlfriend writing "I love little boys." I'd like to see you try it without the other person realizing. Stupid.
Tipsybeaver 0
#29--Thank you for being the only intelligent person on here.
Realfaction 0
Wouldn't you know if they were trying to write something on your back? It would take a while to write that out, and they would be using one finger to write it, not both hands smearing everywhere. Usually peeople just use both hands and rub it on your back.
adrexius 0
Your gf was horrible to do that, as your career or job there is so much at stake especially on such a serious accusation. Its not funny.