Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
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Top comments
Jaxro 6
Your girlfriend must be made of pure win, that's hilarious. Just wear a shirt..
3ree 0
if its on your back, clearly you couldnt write it on yourself.
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Comments (134)
Dagny 6
A lot of people seem to be wondering how the OP could have failed to notice that his girlfriend was writing on his back. It's possible that rather than making the words out of sunscreen, she put the sunscreen on everything BUT the letters--meaning that the letters would be the sunburned part, not the pale part. That's what I assumed when I read it.
jon_cohen 0
dont u know u shouldnt trust anyone u r completely stupid
vicious_fml 0
I agree with the people who said that you should have been smart enough to feel that she wasn't speading it all over your back.
izangela 0
doesnt she know about yout job? LOL
24788 7
That's horrible, she has a twisted sense of humor.
bonafidehustler 0
It's you, not your girlfriend, who is the idiot. How do you not feel the difference between her writing something and her rubbing it in? I mean, for her to write it she'd be using one finger and clearly be spelling it out. That feels a lot different than rubbing lotion in.
protooler31 0
at least you know she loves you
sarah616222 0
shes's a keeper :D
Avenging_Angel 0
Lmao, your girlfriend is awesome XD
Shyman4ever 0
I want your girlfriend. She has WIN written all over her.