Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
Jaxro 6
Why is it when people see hand lotion they automatically think of masturbation? I would have played it off as having dry skin.
SonicSophie 0
Hate to say it, but you deserved it!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
SonicSophie 0
Hate to say it, but you deserved it!
dafakeslimshady 12
Why? jerking off is natural. maybe he doesn't have a computer of his own. when I was 13 I had to use the family computer.
Jaxro 6
Why is it when people see hand lotion they automatically think of masturbation? I would have played it off as having dry skin.
jamesSIII 0
Agreed.
Stupidpeople 0
Its a fair request!!
carmel 0
Exactly right #2 But your mum has a great sense of humour! haha
AntiChrist7 0
YDI. not for looking at ****, but because you forget your lotion
trynightday 0
If it's a family computer, surely the fact that she changed the background to 'Please Do Not Watch **** on the Family Computer' is slightly more innapropriate? Unless she sat in your cumshot, then more power to her.
BabylonHunter 4
imagine if she did sit in his cum
Stay_beautiful 0
YOU SICK PERV! lol no I'm playin'..but seriously...dude..if you're going to perform such a vile act on something that isn't yours, at least remember to clean up the evidence. YDI
ZleveL 0
vile act...? you lost me there. pounding your beef jerky is healthy.
Mattyknows 0
I agree with 1# . . . You can use that stuff not in conjunction with masturbation. Some of us do!
TidusBlade 0
This is why I always check for leftovers after a masturbation session ;P
capslockisgood 19
"Leftovers" made me lol
AdamRock 2
pwned please dont watch **** on our family comp.!