Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML
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Top comments
Blackmail111 9
Atleast she swallows...
laurenzo16 0
Kids says some funny stuff :)
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Comments (252)
ChrisIsANinja 3
He must be new...
tatababe 1
your little bro pwnd you
el_paso_guy89 0
"HER" little bro. Read slower next time.
mb1616 0
is it really that serious ? ... geez fall back people.
willowella 4
why does it matter that he said your instead her. douche!
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
because it is not OP's brother. so saying your is implying that it is OP's brother.
fooldaddyswag 3
hahaha
jasminea 0
he was worried for you. cannibalism is a very natural thing these days.
cupcake567 0
why would he eat his girlfriend?
RandomPotato 0
It's true. Never eat babies. They taste like fish.
RandomPotato 0
23- Maybe he was hungry. You never know. *shrugs*
mk58 31
They taste like fish, but smell sooo good. Mmmmm, baby powder.
Jesus_Christ69 0
but fish taste good.. maybe I'm a cannibal.. :o
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
obvious 23 has never gotten laid before bc he doesn't get the joke that implied here
dreamering 16
Was that suppose to be a polite way of saying: "******* each other"?
giantsfan2010 23
nice bmw!
Souners 3
At least she swallows; you on the other hand? FHL
stepho14 0
awwww how cute :3
Souners 3
speaking of cute...
YFDIOP 0
dude ur like 50
canttouchthis90 0
pedophiles now a days!
Barbarossa_fml 0
TIL 24 is the new 50...
ayooBrandon 12
age ain't number but a number
TheKunitzShow14 6
he was talking about the stuffed animal duhh
k8izgr8_fml 0
"age ain't number but a number." mmmm well said 133
Souners 3
Was definitely talking bout the stuffed animal. one monkey I'd like to spank. O_o
woahwoahwow 9
at least he didnt say "mom, she's swallowing him!"
EffTrae 0
get a lock
antoniocalos15 0
dang boy u look like a crack baby
barlessprison 16
And a little while later, "MOM THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE BED AND IT'S GOING TO EAT THEM!". YDI, locks were invented for a reason.
bebe088 0
most doors don't have locks you df.
KickItHigh 32
Most people who live in a house with their parents will not usually get the master bedroom with the lock... They should block it with a dresser or a chair.
barlessprison 16
Retract your claws #35, no need to be rude. Sorry I come from a place where locks are generally found on all doors okay?!
12dcevin 5
what India?
YFDIOP 0
LMAO 51
YFDIOP 0
35 ur pic is fake ive seen like 40 pedos on fb w the same pic
bebe088 0
59 your dumb af. look me up df. Amber McKinley.
AnagenisisZagus 13
59, who cares? 49, what claws. The child was simply stating a fact. Oh, and I can give you a ticket to NY, but not for your left leg. I have something much more beautiful in mind. >:-) Your right leg, please and thank you.
bebe088 0
lmao 66
Kirashai 9
barlessprison, If there were no bars in your prison, would you really need locks?
proxxX069069 7
seen this pic on a website lol
bebe088 0
138- Your also dumb affff.
proxxX069069 7
lol **** you your a ******* stupid ass little kid i bet ,hahah. ---> also your a ******* fake soo doesn't really matter what you have to say. & I agree w barlessprison, I come frm a place with Locks on most of the doors in my home, no need to get feisty broad suck on a chode with your fake-ness
RandomPotato 0
That makes it sound worse than it actually was...