Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML
Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jeffo193 13
I think you know you deserved that one...don't think the kid did though.
unknown_user5566 27
He got to see the goods without even taking you to dinner first? Score 1 for he neighbor boy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (153)
geod69 8
At least it wasn't his older sister
redreynard 14
Funny, a recent FML told a similar story from the pizza guys perspective. As I recall he didn't appreciate some strangers giggle-parts being burned into his retina.
dogpup4 23
If I remember correctly, that was because it was a morbidly obese teenager with really bad body acne.
kemando 22
Are you an attractive female? Because you may have just made that boys day.
dougierocks 13
I only answer the door naked for Mormons...
GimmeFive 10
Look through the peep hole damn it. Stop scaring little kids
KiddNYC1O 22
Your picture is what paradise looks like to me.
tsent8 15
Well it wasn't the pizza guy but that kid sure did see all of your Canadian bacon
KiddNYC1O 22
If I ever own a pizza shop, I'd name a pie the birthday suit pizza in your honor.
FlyMeAway 2
Well, you are Canadian...
sugoine 12
Way to go, dumbass!
Accuraxy 10
I'm pretty sure you are asking for a YDI.