Today, the guy I've been seeing decided to "test the theory" that I can't drink alcohol due to a liver condition by mixing some into my drinks. He then complained that my ceaseless vomiting made his bathroom smell bad, and only took me to hospital when I started having a seizure. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to drink several shots of vodka after taking a pill that makes you sick when you drink. She puked all night and then blamed me for making her sick. FML
Today, I threw up due to food poisoning. Despite my fever and pain, my wife is completely convinced it was from secretly drinking, and I am now "PERMANENTLY FORBIDDEN" from drinking anything alcoholic. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
“Today the guy that I‘be been seeing got arrested by the cops for assault and battery by attempting to poison me with alcohol me despite my repeated warnings that I would end up in the hospital due to a liver condition.”
samomaha 17
I agree with Bogrbon. You need to tell the police this story.
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Comments (16)
Bogrbon 27
“Today the guy that I‘be been seeing got arrested by the cops for assault and battery by attempting to poison me with alcohol me despite my repeated warnings that I would end up in the hospital due to a liver condition.”
samomaha 17
I agree with Bogrbon. You need to tell the police this story.
genuinegoodguy 9
Your ex now, right?
lev 11
yes. it's in the nickname.
tounces7 28
An immediate dumping and a police call are in order. Hopefully you told the Doctor what happened.
Brightside86 31
Wonder what those "you deserved it" clicks are about.
Hangryko 32
I would hope most of them clicked YDI accidentally. As for the rest who clicked it on purpose, they're idiots.
lev 11
I wonder about that in most FMLs
adjwejaelwkdc 21
DTMFA
diraven 15
Science!
RichardPencil 32
Are you dating Putin?
Hangryko 32
I know many have said this already but call the police. What he did was not okay or even legal.
Warp1978 15
This is aggravated assault, he may not have hit you but he maliciously poisoned you. There's a jail term in his future if you press charges.