Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML
Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML
Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
Le_Anonymous 9
This is going straight to the favorites.
Helloilike_lacro 8
Did you get your penis back?
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Comments (92)
TwoStrokeKing 9
lmao. this made me laugh.
newbiehere99 6
Your comment made me cry.
BlowinChronic 18
Your comment gave me cancer.
PipingMouse 14
Such inspirational comments they are.
hunterfisher98 8
Shut up
buck33 14
I like turtles.
manicethemage 9
A you deserved it if I ever saw one.
ona16 22
65- I like trains
tristanisgay 7
#65 - Stop trying.
buck33 14
79 - Ok, I'm sorry.
PinkGirl246 8
I like turtles too. Turtle Buddies:3
Le_Anonymous 9
This is going straight to the favorites.
whiteboy896 9
touché
SailorSolaris 43
Favorites and facebook! This is epic!
Helloilike_lacro 8
Did you get your penis back?
onlychildFTW 34
Probably not. And they probably said "yeah we can tell, there's nothing there." Haha.
j_cat187 20
Damn, respect it takes balls to do that.
Isoldael 27
Or alcohol... Lots of alcohol...
sens3sfailing 25
But he has no balls, the pixies took them too!
laden_swallow09 35
Please do not mistake stupidity for courage and gumption.
onlychildFTW 34
It doesn't take balls to do that. It takes alcohol. It would take balls if he wasn't drink. Don't mistake courage with being drunk. They are completely different.
unsuccesfulmastu 4
Give him some shrooms and OP's dare becomes reality.
dabeast15 7
Everyone has balls when there drunk
JustAGirlOnFML 11
Tell them you're joining the reunion unless they give it back
thenamestaco171 2
Im sure that will make things less awkward. *sarcasm*
cameron194 9
Lol wow seriously, you totally deserved every bit of that embarrassment lol, YDI
liv_graham 7
well, it will make a great story for the relatives who couldn't make it.
Pleonasm 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
...Only for it to appear they were all having an S&M night together. Needless to say, OP had a hard time getting out.
taniamw 9
..... What are your family reunions like? :/
lebronesque73091 12
He was referencing the S&M fml right after this one.
sens3sfailing 25
That still has no connection to this FML and the attempt to connect the 2 was just trying to hard and was ultimately unfunny and failed. No big deal though, happens to everyone.
imavelociraptor 6
42- too* hard
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
^ that's what pleonasm's S&M-loving relatives said :L
happyllama12 5
Wow first time I've seen pleonasm thumbed down into oblivion..
doodlecloud 27
Today, I finally held a family reunion and got to see friends for the first time in years. Then some jackass from next door ran onto my property, naked and drunk, yelling, embarrassing everyone and scaring my elderly mother and the children because he thought it would 'be a laugh'. FML
alwaysmadi 9
well that's definitely a family reunion they won't forget