Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving blasting earphones in my ears. Five hours later I can still hear Justin Bieber shrieking "Baby". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML
Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume, over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go." FML
Today, I had to blast music, turn the lights on, and physically drag my 29 year-old girlfriend out of bed to wake her up. All the while, she verbally abused me. This is the only way to wake her up, and if I don't do it, she will sleep through the day and then scream at me. FML
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
Your eardrums are scarred for life.
anthony287 3
Rebecca black is worse lol
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Comments (245)
the_easter_bunny 1
His sister, clearly.
j_cat187 20
damn i thought geting your eylid ripped off sucked. you're a brave man
YDI__Bitch 0
good for her!
IndigoFuckYou 9
"Baby, baby, baby, oh!!" "what the hell are you doing?!" "I'm having sex, mom." "oh, thank god. I thought you were listening to Justin Beiber."
Chesse43 0
LOL That would happen
MrXerxes5 6
Haha. The only way to make it go away is to shoot yourself or listen to Barney's ''I Love You'' song for 24 hours straight.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Na, nowadays you listen to Nyan Cat to get rid of any song that is stuck in your head.
CateXOX 0
Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyannyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyannyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nya nyan nyan
perdix 31
I hope you stuck it out to drink in the Ludacris rap. That "Don't need no Starbucks" lyric is solid gold!!
noneya143 0
I wouldn't care I'd start dancing! (:
jamboy51 0
same
TylerzMB 0
...no.
TylerzMB 0
haha, im sorry.
MrSassypants 34
23 ah you clever sly dog. I cannot come back from that because if I try I'll fail miserably. 26 You even said Selena GOMEZ not Mrs. Bieber. They're not married (and hopefully won't be because Selena Beiber sound really weird) and they're not related.