Money: Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane... - FML

By knevs - 22/06/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 678

You deserved it 2 960

Hiding from the drama

Good kid

Age difference

By kernelkat - 06/11/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I found out the presentation I've been looking forward to and preparing for months only has three people registered to attend. I'll be talking to an empty room for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 641

You deserved it 2 648

No one likes a smart-ass

By Anonymous - 13/04/2020 08:00

Today, I accidentally stumbled on a method of getting my job done in about a third of the time, so my boss made it mandatory for all employees. Unfortunately, my coworkers now can't slack off pretending jobs take 2-3 hours, and their constant petty revenge bullying is driving me mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 849

By ow - 04/09/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 529

You deserved it 8 897

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 679

You deserved it 37 206

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 00:54 - United States

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 617

You deserved it 3 101

By theatreluver - 05/01/2011 03:15 - United States

Today, it was opening night for the play where I was, for the first time ever, one of the leads. I went on stage with a loud and energetic entrance. I came in two scenes early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 381

You deserved it 33 483

By overreacting - 03/04/2015 06:08 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 831

You deserved it 2 990

By why.mom - 21/08/2019 00:01

Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 076

You deserved it 135

By me - 21/02/2012 23:56 - United States

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 310

You deserved it 22 084

By oops - 27/09/2015 02:24 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 724

You deserved it 5 568

By TaddM21 - 02/01/2015 03:18 - United States - Salem

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 769

You deserved it 6 892

Same as "work", "boss" is also a four-letter word

By Scoopie - 15/03/2017 14:00

Today, my job offer from 2 weeks ago was rescinded. My "new boss" didn't like my last performance review. I'd spent 30 hours preparing a case study for the second interview. He wants me to be a "standup guy" and withdraw my application voluntarily, so HR doesn't have to get involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 201

You deserved it 329

Assumptions

By Uglyandfat - 10/04/2021 21:30

Spicy

Today, I was walking home when I heard a male voice behind me yelling, “Hey! Hello!” I walked faster and grabbed my pocket knife, turned around and pointed it at him. He just wanted to hand me back the keys I'd dropped. He then added something like, "Oh, and don’t get it twisted, you’re too fat to be kidnapped and raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 1 763

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 13:06 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 185

You deserved it 4 055

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 843

You deserved it 5 100

By ring-a-ding-ding - 06/12/2014 05:18 - United States - Sparks

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 125

You deserved it 3 571

By O-|---<=~ - 18/10/2013 23:01 - United States - Bellingham

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 941

You deserved it 5 608

By unsuspcted - 17/11/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 919

You deserved it 37 245

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 00:37 - United States - San Angelo

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 494

You deserved it 7 780

By ragingwaffles - 13/08/2014 04:25 - United States - Chico

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 179

You deserved it 3 878

By FullOfNick - 10/09/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 630

You deserved it 35 781

By pigeons_suck - 11/05/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 348

You deserved it 2 794

Dick appointment

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 21:01 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Spicy

Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 246

By CorinnenotaplanB - 28/07/2018 01:30

Today, my date for this weekend called and asked if he could bring his possible new girlfriend on our weekend getaway as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 708

You deserved it 263

Enough with the puns

By fuckmuppet - 27/05/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 685

You deserved it 7 457

By Evalynne - 06/04/2013 12:55 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 754

You deserved it 21 788

With any luck, it'll be canceled

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my friends finally scheduled their wedding. The entire friend group of the groom, which I am part of, is in the wedding. Except me. If I go I’ll have to watch my boyfriend, who is a groomsman, walk down the aisle with one of the bride’s friends on his arm while I sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 597

By thisbethed - 02/11/2015 22:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss made up a rumor that I was quitting my job so I wouldn't get the promotion that was coming up. There goes that raise I've been wanting for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 878

You deserved it 1 523

By Hahamaster333 - 28/03/2013 01:02

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 791

You deserved it 74 959

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 818

You deserved it 11 434

By Skyhopee - 24/12/2012 19:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because I'm too "high maintenance" during the holidays. Not to worry, though; he's willing give me another chance sometime after Valentine's day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 273

By Kybo5 - 08/02/2013 05:45 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 877

You deserved it 56 076

By Mike Polk - 03/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 5 905

No smoking

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 20:03

Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 244

By zomg - 30/04/2012 09:24 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 588

You deserved it 29 046

By NoBasement4U - 26/11/2015 20:24 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, my dad went to a hardware store to replace the broken shower head in my bathroom. He got the cheapest shower head he could find, and so when I took a shower, the shower head burst out and hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 358

You deserved it 2 119

By Grosssss - 15/07/2016 16:08 - United States - Harrisonburg

Today, I found out that whenever my roommate's friend-with-benefits comes over, he uses my bikini trimmer to shave his pubic hair. I've been using that trimmer for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 993

You deserved it 1 245

By emmingle - 13/05/2013 23:05 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 023

You deserved it 3 020

By poorbastard - 30/08/2014 08:35 - Canada - Longueuil

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 420

You deserved it 3 794

By catslave - 17/09/2016 08:43 - New Zealand

Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 021

You deserved it 1 858

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Top comments

OrgasmicBunnies 9

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:04

Did she sell the car for gas money too?

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:03

Gotta watch those winds coming off of Lake Michigan....

Comments

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:02

fyl! that sucks :/ but look at it this way if there ever is a hurricane you'll be protected :(

xlostwithoutu 0

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:09

And with no electronics, how are you posting this, OP? xD

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:13

^ good point! :)

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:16

GUYS. STUPID PEOPLE DO EXIST!

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:17

15 pointed out that this is probably fake, but he could be at a friends or something

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:32

well who knows..anything can happen I guess

xlostwithoutu 0

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:34

How are you posting this then, OP? lol

idgts 0

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:45

they could borrow another persons cell to write this fml.. :/

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:55

OP: Then how are you posting this?

yourshootingstar 4

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Thursday 23 June 2011 10:49

clearly she's preparing for 2012 when everyone turns into zombies

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Thursday 23 June 2011 12:30

Pick your patents carefully!

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Thursday 23 June 2011 14:43

that's so pointless though I don't believe this Fml!!

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Thursday 23 June 2011 16:52

Removing electronics from your life can be a rewarding experience. Granted you may be a little more bored than usual, sooner or later you'll realize how dependent you were on them and life isn't so bad without them. Find out new things about you, think about everything that's going on in your life. Take advantage of a situation that isn't in your favor and make it a positive and rewarding one! Be thankful that your mother was thinking about your familys safety as well!

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Thursday 23 June 2011 17:15

then how are you posting this!!!???

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Thursday 23 June 2011 18:33

better to be safe than sorry!!!(:

iSitt 0

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Thursday 23 June 2011 18:52

do they work against tornados? they are near tornado alley.

imthatguythatdid 0

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Thursday 23 June 2011 20:37

yeah they are close to tornado alley but not too close. but anything is possible. i heard there was a tornado in Boston, MASS.

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Friday 24 June 2011 3:22

WTF?? Get a life fag.

TheFakeFamilyGuy 9

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Sunday 26 June 2011 10:20

150- Springfeild...not boston...didnt touch most of the state

irishpassion16 6

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Tuesday 17 July 2012 0:51

Lol all those negative votes show how reliant we are on electronics

fucMyLifeSoHard 18

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Saturday 12 October 2013 16:13

Shut the fuck up, 121.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:02

Your mom's an idiot OP. FYL.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 10:39

She's preparing for 2012. Smart lady for a mother OP. I'm stockpiling food, ammo and water.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 13:19

Maybe she just believes in the motto "you can never be too prepared. "

CompettiveCheer 0

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Thursday 23 June 2011 15:16

The world isn't ending in 2012. They always say the world is gonna here and there, but it's all loads of shit.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 15:49

It won't end in 2012, It's a mytg, and they say that because the Chinese( I think ) Calender Ends on December 22, 2012.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 16:27

the Mayan calendar.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 18:42

Mayan calendar not Chinese.

nerdfighteria 7

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Friday 24 June 2011 5:11

Mayan calendar. And it's December 21, 2012.

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Saturday 25 June 2011 10:52

hahahahha!! chinese calendar???? bahahahahahahah

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:03

Gotta watch those winds coming off of Lake Michigan....

Ghostkiller12345 9

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Thursday 23 June 2011 15:07

3 ur pic made me laugh :P

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Thursday 23 June 2011 18:41

but how could OP post this without electronics?

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Thursday 23 June 2011 19:47

and how come the location next to op's name says Illinois?

magentaballoon15 8

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Thursday 23 June 2011 20:38

because Chicago is in Illinois

ThEsAlAdMuNcHeR 0

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Friday 24 June 2011 0:43

haha ikr all week it's been on and off vise versa over and over and over again

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Friday 24 June 2011 6:48

144- FAIL

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Friday 24 June 2011 8:06

144 is a perfect example of idiocy. Though to be honest hardly anyone knows Illinois, they only know Chicago. A bit saddening, isn't it? They don't know Peoria or Evanston or a bunch of other places that also exist in Illinois.

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Friday 24 June 2011 23:08

ohhh ya :p I forget

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 15:00

#198 thats like forgetting new york city is in new york. idiot

OrgasmicBunnies 9

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:04

Did she sell the car for gas money too?

iLikeWaffles155 5

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:06

then she sold the money

OrgasmicBunnies 9

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:13

for cloud insurance?

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Thursday 23 June 2011 12:11

for volcano insurance

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Thursday 23 June 2011 14:55

84 - I was gonna write that :(

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Friday 24 June 2011 1:01

No you weren't.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:04

she shouldve gotten volcano insurance while shes at it

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:22

lmao #5

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Thursday 23 June 2011 14:23

but there are no volcanos in Chicago! well don't you think we are overdue for one? touché salesman....

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Thursday 23 June 2011 14:35

cloud insurance imo

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Thursday 23 June 2011 17:15

96- There aren't any hurricanes either.

Blueglasscup 18

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:06

Sell the hurricane shutters and get them back?

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Thursday 23 June 2011 10:10

Wow! You're a genius!

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Friday 24 June 2011 4:52

I don't think there is much of a market in hurricane shutters.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:06

Is she related to Peter Griffin by any chance?

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:08

Not even Peter Griffin is dumb enough to do that.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:21

ummm I believe he would! lol he's awesome but a retard.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 15:17

Peter griffin bought volcano insurance with lois's money in one of the episodes

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Thursday 23 June 2011 16:24

Uhm no, no he didn't

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Thursday 23 June 2011 16:45

yes he did, the episode was called When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

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Thursday 23 June 2011 18:26

it was cloud insurance

Jbfu 0

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Thursday 23 June 2011 19:05

He got both

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Thursday 23 June 2011 19:31

he was stupid enough to buy volcano insurance. in quahog.

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Friday 24 June 2011 14:22

he already had the cloud insurance he had it before the episode, he buys volcano insurance

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Saturday 25 June 2011 10:55

13- peter would totally do that.. and he did buy volcano insurance dumb butt :D it was just a paper that had volcano insurance written all over it hahaha :D i just watched the re-run the other day

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Monday 2 January 2012 8:41

No he had been talked out of buying cloud insurance by lois

MarkGoldstein 0

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:06

no way it's real. if it is, have your mom committed.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:06

At least you now live in of the best-protected houses against hurricanes in Chicago. That's gotta count for something.

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:07

She thinks that "the windy city" is implying that there will be hurricanes I am guessing.

iLikeWaffles155 5

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Thursday 23 June 2011 9:42

Shouldn't that be tornadoes?

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Thursday 23 June 2011 16:17

Wouldn't hurricane shutters work for tornadoes as well?

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 12

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 1 036

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 1 173