Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
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Top comments
thesmeagol 22
Two words, Duct tape.
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" "Hell no. She's cray-cray!!"
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Comments (172)
kirasant 19
Time to hit the hell-no button and jump for it. You got yourself an idiot. Just be thankful the stupidity showed itself before the wedding.
raspution 21
Maybe that is why she has not ran from him yet.
colby6666 43
Her*
gem_leanne 3
Dat Shit Cray.
benbenius 10
Why does that bug you so much, Lesbo?
colby6666 43
I don't know, Straight
kelsorg 21
is lesbo necessary? **** yourself.
Drpness 6
Kill her. Knock her out and put her feet first into a wood chipper. If she wakes up that's all the better. After chipping take her disfigured remains and use her as ingredients in chilly and eat the chilly. Now that's cray cray
DocBastard 40
No, two things are really crazy: 1) you stole the wood chipper idea from Fargo, and 2) the fact that you don't know how to spell "chili" properly. THAT is cray cray.
Drpness 6
We'll excuse the **** out of me for not knowing a word. I don't eat it. Never know what could be in that stuff. Beans. Meat. Dead fiancé...
DocBastard 40
Perhaps before you use a word you don't know, you should, oh I don't know, LOOK IT UP. You see, there used to be this book called the "dictionary" which had all sorts of fancy words in it, all spelled correctly. Nowadays you can use something called The Internet to look things up even faster. I do this because I'm a nice ******* guy. You're welcome.
Drpness 6
Sorry. No internet and I only have a Braille dictionary. I'm screwed in life..
Welshite 40
Goosfraba...
DocBastard 40
Don't you give me that goosfraba crap, Welshie! I'm perfectly goddamned calm! Oh shit, time for my medicine...
Akay4 14
No internet, is on FML...You sure about that?
Drpness 6
Yeppers! No internet...if don't know how I keep commenting.
TheNiceOne 20
I'm confused. Are you a lesbian???
kurodansei 16
What makes you think OP is a lesbian?
kurodansei 16
After further review and research I got it now.
Respect101 17
Well the FML says her fiance is a girl and her little gender symbol says she is a girl so they are lesbians.
Ihavegas 22
eventually the people will only speak in grunts and snorts. goodbye society.
jackel_love 14
I haven't loved an FML more than I love this one.
Bloink 25
shes cray cray
blazerman_fml 17
She sounds 12 and totes cray cray.. :P
kurodansei 16
I think Colby6666 is trying to tell us something...... Also just learned the difference between fiancé and fiancée. So I've got that going for me.