Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
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Top comments
thesmeagol 22
Two words, Duct tape.
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" "Hell no. She's cray-cray!!"
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Comments (172)
DocBastard 40
Your fiancée is amazeballs.
ihpp 22
Doc you and your blog are amazeballs
colby6666 43
26- if only there were a messaging system for you to tell him
sterling1113 15
I didn't even know people actually said that until I saw it on a list of annoying phrases. I'm still pretty sure I've only ever seen people use it sarcastically, actually.
kelsorg 21
gotta love hip hop and how it influences the public. (I'm being sarcastic so everyone knows)
pjsr 33
Triumvirate, I love your reply to #12. I did not know one word could make me laugh so much, and repeatedly. I bow down to you, master.
Sebastian2022 22
It's time you go cray cray, buddy.
redbaron94 8
Walk away from her
leary96 15
At least you found out now rather than after the marriage
Soloman212 28
Yes, found out he's a cray-er. That shit tears marriages apart.
lilmimi425 4
OP is female
VasNormandy 14
Just tell her you find it really annoying and ask her to stop, politely as possible. Better than ranting and raving about it.
91hayek 31
lol well this is what you get when you want marriage. Yay now homosexuals get the same suffering limited to straight married couples! Equality in having annoying significant others for everyone!
Respect101 17
'Murica.
MzZombicidal 36
More like United Kingdom, #60...
HeelofHeels 3
Give the bitch a good ole smackin' around that should fix things
badluckalex 23
no, no it wont...
kotake 7
so you "just can't" in response to her being "cray cray"? you two sound like an adorbz cuple.
hisfaceallred 19
deal with it yo, she'll get tired of it and im sure theres a reason you want to marry her. if it's hurting you to have her amount your feelings to 'cray-cray', make it clear that it could very well jeopardize the relationship.
Goblin182 27
You mean jeop your relaish.