Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
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Top comments
thesmeagol 22
Two words, Duct tape.
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" "Hell no. She's cray-cray!!"
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Comments (172)
Monika444 1
She's right. Ranting is immature, and a good spouse doesn't blow up over little stuff.
AFaye3964 17
I started saying this, Just to annoy my boyfriend.
ShaNiquaC 11
Pretty good
judyg21 3
Lmfao xD
fantasyworld 39
I can't decide what's stupider, cray-cray or yolo.
Ancient_Mirage 14
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
jokersmile13 10
Dead body in 3....2....1.....
LyricaSilvan 30
I laughed a little harder than I should have.