Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
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Top comments
thesmeagol 22
Two words, Duct tape.
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" "Hell no. She's cray-cray!!"
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Comments (172)
kaytasha 18
I am going cray cray just reading this FML
worldclassrager 41
He better quit soon unless sleeping on the couch for a bit isn't cray cray
cryssycakesx3 23
she* and women don't sleep on the couch.
worldclassrager 41
Female post...figured talking about her husband
V4mp1r3_K4t 7
They're both female and they're engaged. There's no husband involved in this.
lina21 12
Why is a grown ass woman using the language of a 12 year old girl? That's "cray cray"
jmfreee 16
It's amazing how many late teens/early 20s aged people use all these words that aren't really words. I just don't understand why using actual words is so difficult.
youdont 4
she was probably mocking you
silverkaast 9
start on another annoying ass trend she hates. then compare the two, and promise to stop if she does.
Dcm210 19
Once you get married, it's game over.
vlalam 24
she is awesome, seems u deserved it.. it's fiancee, so no turning back now and u must suffer.. lol
paolino_fml 18
Leave bro
JRT98 12
Well... You could go, as they say, "shark fishing".
leeloo900 9
Dump him!