Health: Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I...

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 06:28 - United States - Calhan

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 571

You deserved it 3 452

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

How could you?

By damnitsam - 06/08/2017 20:00

Today, while making lunch, I passed out. After waking up in the hospital, my brother yelled at me for leaving the freezer open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 379

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 324

You deserved it 5 601

By thisisbad - 12/10/2009 14:21 - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 2 789

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 2 841

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 121

You deserved it 3 144

By blackchin III - 20/06/2014 21:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 683

You deserved it 4 678

Iron Man

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 38 482

Brotherly love

By Foodcomesfirst - 24/11/2009 20:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 137

You deserved it 3 694

By argfarblewarblearble - 07/08/2015 13:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 897

You deserved it 2 331

By jeeperspeepers - 02/08/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 133

You deserved it 132 927

kittenmeownyan 18

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:09

Being hit in the throat would be anyone's weakness. Hope you're okay op

ocramavaf 15

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:15

find out his with a kick to the nuts

Comments

kittenmeownyan 18

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:09

Being hit in the throat would be anyone's weakness. Hope you're okay op

Demonfish 14

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:38

Damn straight it is, I've heard it's a very nasty way to die... The pain of the crushed trachea coupled with the inability to breathe, not nice... I would not recommend hitting his throat as payback, you wouldn't want to go to far and accidentally kill your brother. And do warn him of his idiocy, I'm sure that he wouldn't like that sort of blood on his hands either.

imessedwithtexas 13

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:12

my brother used to do that to me to wake me up for school in the morning and tell me to stop faking.

GothickNihilist 15

Saturday 23 February 2013 17:19

If that is true, your brother is seriously deranged.

cmayer 20

Sunday 24 February 2013 3:09

I hate your brother for you.

LOLgasmic123 9

Wednesday 27 February 2013 16:03

Can someone tell me why #2 got thumbed down for that comment?

ocramavaf 15

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:15

find out his with a kick to the nuts

asira 2

Saturday 20 June 2015 10:46

best solution so far

ollie179 21

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:15

At least your weakness isn't Kryptonite! Poor Superman...

bazzer69 3

Saturday 23 February 2013 13:14

Well kryptonite is a lot harder to get then pinching them in the throat,

bazzer69 3

Saturday 23 February 2013 13:17

Well I think he'd actually prefer to have kryptonite as his weakness because I doubt his brother would be in possession of very much of it ....yay superman

andyyroxx 20

Saturday 23 February 2013 13:20

Pinching or punching? Either way they both hurt like cum-cannons, and you're right - everybody has a throat. Not everybody has Kryptonite.

PenguinBitch 43

Saturday 23 February 2013 19:25

They both hurt like cumcannons? I see you've been "shot" at numerous of times.

A100893 30

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:19

1. Get a bat 2. Twirl it around while glaring your brother down 3. ????????? 4. Have a useful minion for the rest of your lif- *ahem* I mean, "profit"

Lionesse 15

Saturday 23 February 2013 17:28

Please explain how this actually helps.

coleelovesMAGIC 8

Saturday 16 March 2013 23:15

Brilliant.

Dead_Fox 17

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:24

A swift kick to his gonads might even the score!

malkavian_mad 13

Saturday 23 February 2013 13:11

Deja vu ;)

Tempest151 11

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:26

If he's your twin then you know HIS weakness!

oj101 33

Saturday 23 February 2013 13:56

#7 - I think a strike to the neck would be anyone's weakness...

leadawg75 12

Saturday 23 February 2013 14:42

Not all twins have the same traits and characteristics...

Sarow_96 13

Saturday 23 February 2013 12:29

HAHAHAHAHAHA !!! Just pinch his inner thigh, and he will be running like a baby to his mommy. That would teach him a lesson for life. Take it from the middle child ;)