Love: Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for...

oh my fucking god 10 July 2014, 13:34 Derby, United Kingdom

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

172 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

Andrew 30 October 2012, 06:08 Monroe, United States

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

161 comments

Anonymous 12 August 2024, 22:00 Richmond, United States

A quiet place, please

Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML

2 comments

gutted 7 May 2012, 02:13 United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

66 comments

migsman 15 September 2010, 02:43 United States

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

262 comments

bloody 15 June 2013, 08:57 United States

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

119 comments

Anonymous 14 September 2013, 21:51 Sherwood Park, Canada

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

72 comments

WhosGoingToCleanThisUp This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff United Kingdom

Splosh

Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML

52 comments

what's a rimjob between friends? 6 September 2013, 21:42 Boston, United States

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

129 comments

Djdjfj 22 March 2025, 20:00 United States

Stepdad woes

Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML

3 comments

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Federal Way, United States

Best wishes!

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML

48 comments

thesmeagol 22

10 July 2014, 18:40

Two words, Duct tape.

BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22

10 July 2014, 18:44

"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" "Hell no. She's cray-cray!!"

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Comments (172)

damnit1989 16

11 July 2014, 01:54

I can't stand some of these stupid-as-*******-shit word fads. Enough already!!! We are supposed to be intelligent beings, as humans, and this kind of shit disproves it. What is the point of saying things like that? Please tell me!