Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, an obese man decided it was okay to share a urinal with me. FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML
Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
Today, my ex and I both go to the same gym because we're too stubborn to change our membership. He's not being a creeper, but he's dropped over fifty pounds and all the girls there keep talking about how hot he's gotten. It's really awkward when we're in a class together. FML
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Top comments
brittanyrmh_ 12
Well, on the bright side, think about what he'll look like when he loses weight!
Jeffo193 13
Leave candles all over the place.
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Comments (99)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Tie a Twinkie in front of him and let him outside. Problem somewhat solved.
Psych101 9
Yeah, but that only works until he inevitably gets tired and falls on the ground. Then gravity will do the work for him and he'll have his Twinkie.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
SOMEWHAT SOLVED.
lilmisslovely13 15
20- but then he'll be on the ground, so she should be good for a while.
meganfoxissexy 0
You should crank "like a virgin" while he's doing his exercises
ohSNAPyall 27
Let's get physical.
meganfoxissexy 0
On second thought.. Lets add that one to the playlist
laden_swallow09 35
No "Macho Man"?
babipie109 7
You cannot forget "I'm too sexy"
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
As White Goodman would say; "You gotta burn it, to earn it!"
Stormdriven37 6
"We're better than you, and we know it!"
zingline89 18
He's not doing naked yoga. Count your blessings.
MsConfusedd 27
kinky
benhd1 14
Well look at it this way, if he follows through with his decision to get in shape, you'll be able to brag "I have a sexy nudist roommate." To all of your friends.
buckdharma 38
invite his mother over for dinner.
Special_Psycho 8
Buy a blindfold?
j_cat187 20
Or gouge your eyes out with a carpenters knife.
Feverrotes 15
Just noticed OP is a female. So you have a male roommate and have no issues with him walking around with his dong out in the open? Feel free to come live with me.
Angelrose2004 17
Do you usually offer strangers a place to stay? O.o
hatesfate 6
Are you sure your parents won't mind?
iwadasn 33
She does have a problem with it. Why else would she be posting it on this website?
lilmisslovely13 15
I think the fact that she wrote an FML implies that she has some issues with that.
zues70 4
Cool!