Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, an obese man decided it was okay to share a urinal with me. FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML
Heavy
Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Dude, WTF?
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
Membershipmaxxing
Today, my ex and I both go to the same gym because we're too stubborn to change our membership. He's not being a creeper, but he's dropped over fifty pounds and all the girls there keep talking about how hot he's gotten. It's really awkward when we're in a class together. FML
Top comments
brittanyrmh_ 12
Well, on the bright side, think about what he'll look like when he loses weight!
Jeffo193 13
Leave candles all over the place.
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Comments (99)
Darkme 1
haha that sucks but does he do it in public because it sounds like ur in college or something
ICastillo 25
That sounds very disturbing. Just buy one of those air soft pistols that shoots the plastic bb's. Every time he does that shoot him with it, they hurt like hell.
letmehavemytea 21
A little bit of classical conditioning..I like the way you think!
ICastillo 25
Yeah you can think of it as a little motivation.
Enslaved 38
Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
SheradenAdamonis 2
Listening to that song right now!
ptoka 20
I believe this gives new meaning to thunder thighs, OP learn the rain dance and be prepared
KiddNYC1O 22
Puts a whole new meaning to P90X...
jreaso01 4
So you guys share a room too?
ksuth 25
It's good that he's doing the work to lose weight, as people said before. I'm sure OP would be much more supportive if he at least wore some shorts, though.
Futacy 30
You could kick his bare ASS out, BUTT then you'd have to bail it back out of prison for public indecency. And when the MOON rises at nightfall, he'll probably still be doing his nude lunges. So all you can really do is BARE with it. Sorry, OP.
Calingaladha 21
What a BOLD statement. CAPITAL idea to accentuate all the puns...
nmlutgen 11
Leave
Unicorn_Toes 4
Hey at least he's trying, and being a nudist isn't so bad, at least the guy is confident, knows what he wants and is determined to get it :3 bless him