Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, my ex called and said he still loved me. I said I’d move across the country to be with him. Then he said we could live in his dad’s house, so I can protect him from his sister’s best friend, who gave him chlamydia. At the end of call, he said he’s seeing someone and he likes her because she buys him gifts and food. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, I finally wrote a DM to the girl I'm in love with, telling her not to say yes if her ex asked her out, and instead to go out with me. I then chickened out and deleted the message, but then realised she'd still get the notification on her phone. FML
Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML
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Top comments
kelissa_fml 16
The real question is: do you still love her now??
omarzrgz 3
Doesn't matter had sex... Wait, it does matter! O:
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Comments (129)
JennyyMeepMonroe 10
Awe, that ******* sucks! D; but she wasn't worth your time anyways then, find someone better. :) Good Luck OP!
EvilTeddysRock 2
like a disease she took over your heart, and gave you a coochie fungus.
sirsquab 12
You poured your heart out to your ex BEFORE reading the email? Sucks about getting the clap, but I don't get why you poured your heart out. I can see getting excited, but you see the email, you read the email, then get depressed because not only does she not want to get back together with you, but you may have the clap. Nowhere in there was there space for pouring your heart out.
rdrr 2
The email probably said, "call me."
Llamacod 11
Yea, I was wondering the same thing; how do you pour your heart out over an email?
wittygirl 8
That's messed up. Although at least she was civil enough to tell you. She's still a ***** in my book though.
downtime 13
Then your book isn't worth reading. People in completely monogamous relationships still get STI's dipshit.
supimnyancat 9
Be glad she at least has the courtesy to tell you, better than finding out the hard way.
linkinpark98 24
He wasn't worth your time, OP. There are plenty of other fish in the sea! :D Well, just stay away from HER sea.
StalwartKitten 4
Sorry op, there's someone out there for you just keep your chin up and be more careful next time to avoid those pesky STI's.
omarzrgz 3
Wait, don't they have to tell you by law? Or am I making up stupid things again?
br0ccoli 15
I'm pretty sure that if patient confidentiality exists, it's not illegal not to say. But I know it's illegal to knowingly infect someone with diseases that can kill them.
NurseNasty 12
Usually the infected person is required to tell the Health Dept who they've slept with. The HD will then contact those people, without telling them the infected's name.
br0ccoli 15
also another option to tell someone they have an STD anonymously is www.inspot.org ...just a friendly public service announcement. Be safe kids. No glove, no love. Or if you're the conservative type: No ring, no f*ng.
elizabeth713 8
I think you're thinking of aids. I know there are laws about sleeping around being assault or something like that if you are HIV positive and don't tell them.
ablueshka 0
I agree with 9 some people just let u find out the hard way
xIBleedPurplex16 0
Beat the crap out of her seriously that's what I'd do and I'm a girl.
louiseth 9
What, why? He could've given it to her.
OffToTheGayBar 9
Yeah, Chris Brown that bitch. You'll still be famous! Wait a tic...
RaquelW 7
Yes, beat the shit out of her, because contracting an std and informing those at risk is all part of her evil plan. Shut the **** up.