Love: Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that...

By Darkheaven - 17/11/2008 11:27 - France

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 395

You deserved it 9 427

Love

Hiding from the drama

Walk the line

Family heirloom

By oopsididitagain - 30/11/2010 18:49 - United States

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 939

You deserved it 30 181

By eldar90 - 25/02/2012 21:38 - Israel

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 004

You deserved it 2 382

By caisse à outs - 23/09/2015 01:06 - France - Saint Quentin

Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 377

You deserved it 2 068

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 21:31 - Ireland

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 159

You deserved it 4 670

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 02:46 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 3 494

By Anonymous - 25/06/2016 03:29 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my father-in-law is still introducing me to family friends as his son's girlfriend. I have been married to his son for 5 years, we have a child together and another on the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 028

You deserved it 1 017

By k - 09/06/2012 21:35 - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 512

You deserved it 64 366

By Nalya - 27/12/2008 10:26 - France

Today, my fiancé told me, that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I ask him if he has anything else to add. "Happy Birthday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 884

You deserved it 2 062

By Anonymous - 14/08/2014 03:02 - New Zealand

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 468

You deserved it 3 203

By Falling off the wagon - 09/11/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 381

You deserved it 3 549

By tommy3824 - 20/08/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 516

You deserved it 3 065

By Thistle - 12/09/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I filled out an application at WalMart after being unable to find a job in three months. I just graduated from law school. With honors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 557

You deserved it 5 107

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 07:03 - United States - Reno

Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 971

You deserved it 4 592

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 12:33 - Australia - Fairfield

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 404

You deserved it 3 421

By thetallone - 23/02/2010 08:05 - United Kingdom

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 543

You deserved it 2 674

Ghosted

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 00:30

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years ghosted me without a word and acted like he didn't know my friend when she texted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 61

By Dontsitsitandyoudie - 02/05/2017 14:00 - Iceland - Reykjav?k

Today, I went to sit on a desk chair, which promptly rolled out from under me. This made me fall on my own foot, literally shattering two bones. I just bought a 9-month gym membership and can't use it because I wanted to sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 059

You deserved it 381

Creepy

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 20:01

Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so having a friend nearby is a huge win for her. What my wife doesn’t know is that her new friend keeps hitting on me, and has already sent me unsolicited nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 277

By nosymptoms - 10/02/2012 00:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried about a previous partner. I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness, but I'd be even more grateful if we hadn't already slept together several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 614

You deserved it 7 241

By gummy bear - 21/01/2011 11:41

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 490

You deserved it 30 846

Mexican Standoff

By JillianJuneBug - 17/08/2019 18:00

Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 581

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 311

You deserved it 6 670

By Math_Rocker - 02/09/2009 22:17 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 286

You deserved it 35 073

By Anonymous - 02/06/2013 04:36 - United States

Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 897

You deserved it 15 798

Check these out, guys!

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 13:59

Today, instead of forwarding my male boss my Covid screening results, I sent him and the entire leadership team an email offer for testosterone boosters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 686

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 062

You deserved it 7 932

By SleepObsessed - 05/08/2018 19:00

Today, even though I'm the most neat freak germophobe there is, I was diagnosed with scabies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 759

You deserved it 394

By Lena - 27/03/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 957

You deserved it 7 551

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 574

You deserved it 5 534

Hood life

By Anonymous - 07/12/2013 20:49 - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 617

You deserved it 3 844

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 16:17 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 313

You deserved it 3 326

By Dooh - 17/01/2012 23:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 4 986

By creepycrawley247 - 01/05/2013 02:50 - United States - Ellington

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 194

You deserved it 3 793

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 004

You deserved it 1 104

By MakeMeASandwich - 10/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 233

You deserved it 8 906

By fuck off, for real - 03/04/2016 13:26 - United States - Ft Mitchell

Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 127

You deserved it 2 272

Eggs

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 23:01

Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 80

By Too manly - 20/03/2013 04:54 - United States - Stockton

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 460

You deserved it 4 523

By needofmoney - 18/02/2011 02:16 - United States

Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 574

You deserved it 5 062

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up a failure in life like their father's friend, Matt. Hi, my name is Matt and I'm the friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 178

You deserved it 5 243

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Top comments

MSJ91 1

Saturday 14 March 2009 3:03

Sounds like a nice coincidence to me. There's nothing like falling for the same person again.

biggee531 7

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Wednesday 4 March 2009 8:22

A rather unfortunate event i think. Everything is funny in retrospect though ;)

biggee531 7

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Wednesday 4 March 2009 8:22

A rather unfortunate event i think. Everything is funny in retrospect though ;)

Brittaneyyy 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 16:07

maybe u ment to be together !?!

Infamous_Hawk 6

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Friday 15 April 2011 4:01

nice tat?

a2zx2 6

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Tuesday 13 September 2011 3:18

What are the chances..

Cowman3340 0

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Wednesday 11 March 2009 4:20

LOL!!!

Allie614032 34

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Monday 10 April 2017 17:28

You'd think you'd be able to recognize her by her name and location, or at least suspect? How much info was exchanged before you actually swapped photos?

TEAZO 0

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Friday 13 March 2009 19:57

haha oh that sucks.

MSJ91 1

Saturday 14 March 2009 3:03

Sounds like a nice coincidence to me. There's nothing like falling for the same person again.

teresa_009 0

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Wednesday 2 June 2010 0:40

aww when you put it like that it sounds cute :')

Rogersmoonshine 7

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Tuesday 25 December 2012 1:42

Right? If you're really hitting it off with your ex, maybe you should reevaluate things with her and give it another chance.

weezypanda420 22

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Friday 13 November 2015 5:06

That does make a lot of sense... You fell in love with them for a reason right?

pinkfrenchrose 5

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Saturday 14 March 2009 4:19

Small world after all...

krazygirl100 9

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Friday 1 April 2011 9:52

i hat disney land they hate canada

Boomi 38

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Wednesday 14 September 2016 18:01

Pretty much. Honestly, what are the chances?

Grimm665 0

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Monday 16 March 2009 21:55

dude that sucks lol

ugk4life 0

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Thursday 19 March 2009 1:27

Rofl

altatude13 0

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Thursday 19 March 2009 5:34

wow. and the cycle continues. boy meets girl, girl dumps boy, boy goes on the internet bored out of his mind and manages to hook up with the girl that he broke up with. thats ridiculous!