Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that...

By Darkheaven - France

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

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Love

Messed up

Walk on the wild side

And today, on Dr Phil…

By grounded4life - United States

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

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By Anonymous - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML

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By teacher - United States - Apo

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

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By wtfdad - United States - Little Silver

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

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By Baby Face

Today, I was at work refreshing the shelves when a man turned the corner and said, very surprised, "You look 12!" A few weeks back, two people did the same thing, only they said I looked 9. I'm almost 21 years old, and just very short. Starting to get just a little self conscious here. FML

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By Well okay then - United States - Palmdale

Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML

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By fukinlonely - United Kingdom

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

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By DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE - United States - Schertz

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

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By Liv - United Kingdom - Great Bookham

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

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By sudoku_fiend - United States - Millville

Today, I discovered that I've spent so much time playing Sudoku in the bathroom at work that I've trained myself to need to pee whenever I open the app. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

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By scaredtosleep - United Kingdom

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

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By Andrew - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

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By AkaiKitsune

Today, a customer passed out in the bathroom, so we didn't realize he was there until after closing. I don't know what he'd shot up, but whatever it was told him he should run around naked. It's been two hours and the cops still haven't shown up. I can't leave until he does. FML

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By meatballz - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

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By oregongrl1991 - France

Today, my fiancé told me he didn't have the money to make payments on my engagement ring and that I either have to return it, or make the payments myself. Now we aren't engaged any more, and are "dating." FML

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By cartrouble - United States

Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML

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By paidback - United States

Rejection erection

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

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By So so close to clean - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my soccer team got our warm up t-shirts that say "You can hit on us, but you can't score." After the game, a guy behind my friend asks, "Hey what does the front of your shirt say?" I replied for her, "You can hit on us." He looked at me and my friend and said, "No thanks." FML

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By crap - United States - Mansfield

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

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By knuckleheadknock

Today, my rather large boss told me how the company needs to save money, how we are going downhill fast, even suggesting that we might go bankrupt very soon. He then went on to ask me to go get him some very expensive scotch using the company credit card to, "help him cope with the stress." FML

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By anaph0re - France

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

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By DanTheMan

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

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By blahdyblahblah33 - United States

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML

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By lizard - Canada

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mother putting up the dishes. I went to stand up from putting a pot in a lower cabinet and hit my head on the upper cabinet she left open by accident. Hello concussion number nine. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dover

Today, an Asian man approached me and called me pretty. I thanked him and he asked if I'm Chinese. When I said, "No, I'm Taiwanese" he promptly spat in my face and called me a "traitor to the motherland." FML

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By sofakingweetodit - United States

Today, I was shopping for pillows at Bed Bath and Beyond. My husband playfully picked up a pillow pretending to start a pillow fight. I grabbed the largest pillow and chased him with it. When I finally caught up with him, a manager came around the corner. I was escorted out. FML

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By dumbass

Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Exeter

Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

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By Not Wanted - United Kingdom - London

Today, I'm moving out of the house. My little sister can't wait and I've never seen my dad so happy. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

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By teejayrn - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him for the first time. His response was to smile and pat me on the head. FML

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Top comments

By MSJ91 | 1

#30702 - Saturday 14 March 2009 3:03

Sounds like a nice coincidence to me. There's nothing like falling for the same person again.

By biggee531 | 7

#14094 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 8:22

A rather unfortunate event i think. Everything is funny in retrospect though ;)

COMMENTS

By biggee531 | 7

#14094 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 8:22

A rather unfortunate event i think. Everything is funny in retrospect though ;)

Brittaneyyy | 0

#1275575 - Friday 20 August 2010 16:07

maybe u ment to be together !?!

Infamous_Hawk | 6

#2350760 - Friday 15 April 2011 4:01

nice tat?

a2zx2 | 6

#3280648 - Tuesday 13 September 2011 3:18

What are the chances..

By Cowman3340 | 0

#25932 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 4:20

LOL!!!

Allie614032 | 34

#7436538 - Monday 10 April 2017 17:28

You'd think you'd be able to recognize her by her name and location, or at least suspect? How much info was exchanged before you actually swapped photos?

By TEAZO | 0

#30091 - Friday 13 March 2009 19:57

haha oh that sucks.

By MSJ91 | 1

#30702 - Saturday 14 March 2009 3:03

Sounds like a nice coincidence to me. There's nothing like falling for the same person again.

teresa_009 | 0

#1015904 - Wednesday 2 June 2010 0:40

aww when you put it like that it sounds cute :')

Rogersmoonshine | 7

#5277909 - Tuesday 25 December 2012 1:42

Right? If you're really hitting it off with your ex, maybe you should reevaluate things with her and give it another chance.

weezypanda420 | 22

#6460257 - Friday 13 November 2015 5:06

That does make a lot of sense... You fell in love with them for a reason right?

By pinkfrenchrose | 5

#30840 - Saturday 14 March 2009 4:19

Small world after all...

krazygirl100 | 9

#2276232 - Friday 1 April 2011 9:52

i hat disney land they hate canada

Boomi | 38

#6689558 - Wednesday 14 September 2016 18:01

Pretty much. Honestly, what are the chances?

By Grimm665 | 0

#35246 - Monday 16 March 2009 21:55

dude that sucks lol

By ugk4life | 0

#41549 - Thursday 19 March 2009 1:27

Rofl

By altatude13 | 0

#42145 - Thursday 19 March 2009 5:34

wow. and the cycle continues. boy meets girl, girl dumps boy, boy goes on the internet bored out of his mind and manages to hook up with the girl that he broke up with. thats ridiculous!

By jsmith1199 | 0

#46969 - Saturday 21 March 2009 6:08

good call EMS.. i was about to say the exact same thing

By ryte1 | 1

#48814 - Sunday 22 March 2009 1:47

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?! >_

pippymiskers | 4

#1049547 - Wednesday 30 June 2010 3:40

lol