Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
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By
toxic_walrus
| 15
She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!
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JMichael
| 25
I laughed harder than I should have at this. Anyway OP sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation.
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kuzzy00
| 22
"Stop sleeping with raggedy bitches"
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Danny_Boy12
| 13
You shoulda texted back "I wasn't looking for this."
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jake_braves
| 25
This is a terrible situation, at least chlamydia is treatable and she told you before it's too late. But dang..
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lnheritance
| 19
Doesn't matter, had sex. And it's gone. Sorry to hear it though OP, at least now you know to stay clear from her.
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Helpfulman
| 17
At least chlamydia is very easy to cure. Use a condom next time if you don't want STDs.
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pooldude
| 24
Somehow i know exactly what she said to him!
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BigJoeZD
| 16
#77 "I love bad bitches that's my fucking problem"
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AninOnin
| 24
And this is what condoms were made for.
By
horrorforlife
| 4
It's ok bra
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Welshite
| 39
Yeah. He could always be panties. No one wants to be a pair of panties, especially in this case.
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uoeno_fml
| 20
"You're excused, and I'm not your bra"
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squidgy787
| 22
Zoolander :-)
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pooldude
| 24
"Bra"? Seriously? Not even bro..! Man oh man, what a world i live in!
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1tsmenoah
| 20
Would you feel okay if you just found out that you had gotten chlamydia from a girl that has bad taste in music?
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ChopSuey444
| 20
Normal people at least put an 'h' at the end of 'brah' so that we can all live the rest of our lives without the underwear puns...
By
fallencastiel
| 22
"Hey, I had sex with you. And this is crazy! I saw the doctor. I have chlamydia-a-a."
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Nilorak
| 24
A for effort bra! :)
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rocker_chick23
| 27
#24: It's spelled brah. Bra is something women and sometimes men wear under their clothes.
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Danny_Boy12
| 13
You took a horrendous song number three, and you made it worse. Congrats
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Animekid126
| 13
Brah isn't even a word in the first place, second of all, they were making fun of number 2.
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rocker_chick23
| 27
Actually 150: Brah is a word. Don't believe me? Here is the definition from the Oxford dictionary. A male friend or associate.
By
boxbrandon11
| 20
Just clap it off
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kelsorg
| 21
that's for gonorrhea...
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hawkgirl55555
| 2
you're thinking of gonorrhea...
By
ahippienamedrae
| 10
Leave a flaming bag of poop on her doorstep.
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glabberfasted
| 16
He called the shit poop!
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melbournearsenal
| 18
Don't put it out with your boots Ted!
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KrazyKatz3
| 26
It's not her fault she has chlamydia... Did the OP even ask if she was tested? Or just use a condom.
By
zZLightZz
| 13
that is terrible
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iAlissa
| 34
You don't say.
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cadillacgal79
| 32
No really, thank you Captain Obvious.
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beaverteaser
| 16
You didn't put alot of thought into this comment did you??
By
tj4234
| 35
Hey, i just fucked you.
And this is crazy.
I have chlamydia.
So now you do maybe.
Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.
And this is crazy.
I have chlamydia.
So now you do maybe.
Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.
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homesuckfucker
| 28
a better ending would be "get tested, baby"
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tj4234
| 35
A better ending would be if the song had never been created.
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homesuckfucker
| 28
a horrible song always makes for hilarious parodies.
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pwnman
| 33
31 is right. The last line makes it sound not good.
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tj4234
| 35
Fine, if any staff member reads this can they edit my original post? Don't say i'm not good to you people.
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Sirin_fml
| 46
Yeah okay. Don't thank me or anything.
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tj4234
| 35
Sorry, was 7am when i posted that. Thanks Sirin you're the best :3.
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homesuckfucker
| 28
Sirin's edit was better than my edit.
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Vahex
| 19
I love fml staff :)
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Earl_KarmasBitch
| 28
Hey, I just fucked you.
And you were lazy.
Should have worn a condom.
Get tested maybe.
And you were lazy.
Should have worn a condom.
Get tested maybe.
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RainbowRaindrop
| 1
Nice lyrics. Do you have experience with this kind of thing? ;) Jk
By
sunshineb81
| 16
I hope for your sake that you used a condom!
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dragonkisses28
| 25
If he had used a condom, this would not be a FML.
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anticulas
| 12
And a condom is always 100% effective...
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justtheotherguy
| 12
Condoms are 90 percent effective .. Says right there on the box here "read this"
By
sweetbliss3
| 37
condoms, bro. regardless, that's fucked up. good luck.
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euphoricness
| 28
Condoms don't protect from std's
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euphoricness
| 28
Sorry I meant don't always*
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JD26803
| 11
@22 Surely you're not serious?
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tifdunc
| 14
25 stop calling me surely
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euphoricness
| 28
Nah I'm not being serious. OP shoulda worn a condom because they are 100% effective fighting off those diseases. There would've been absolutely no way he coulda contracted any disease if he used one!
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DocBastard
| 38
Euphoricness - Right you are. Instead, OP should never use a condom and always risk STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Your plan is genius, sir.
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DrownedMyFish
| 18
Yes, condoms are not effective all the time. However, according to statistics, they are effective around 98% of the time when used correctly. OP's chances of chances of contracting an STD would have decreased drastically.
Moral of the story: Sex is cleaner with a packaged Weiner!
Moral of the story: Sex is cleaner with a packaged Weiner!
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ColonelCusswords
| 24
@euphoricness, are you joking or just really really stupid
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DaMann360
| 19
DocBastard is alive!!! I was beginning to think you stopped using FML completely! Only long term FML users would understand.
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SneezyBear
| 27
I think euphoricness could have worded his comment better, but you guys are giving him a bit of an (undeserved?) bad rap. He *does* have a point. Condoms are great, but I'm pretty sure their primary function is preventing pregnancy, not STDs (just how they're designed): while they're highly effective for some STDS (e.g. HIV) they can be pretty useless against herpes (which can be transmitted through skin-skin contact not covered by a condom) and HPV, and the effectiveness rate for everything in between varies considerably from virus to virus. Research data in this field is dark and full of (systematic) errors. Lots of papers contradicting each others' results. Honestly, the only way to be really safe is if both of you get tested first.
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militaryguy95
| 12
wrap it before you tap it next time op
put a helmet on your soldier next time. basically just put a condom on and you have reduced chances of contacting stds
put a helmet on your soldier next time. basically just put a condom on and you have reduced chances of contacting stds
By
Yeshua_fml
| 19
She's generous and creative. Keep her!
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LalaDee561
| 8
Yes, she's so generous that she generously gave him chlamydia ! She's definitely a keeper!
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Strider207
| 5
She managed to find the shitiest way to tell him that he has an std. She sure as hell is a keeper!!!
And this is crazy.
I have chlamydia.
So now you do maybe.
Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.