By Rowansgonnarow - 05/07/2014 20:19

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 424
You deserved it 15 955

Same thing different taste

Top comments

toxic_walrus 15

She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!

Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.


toxic_walrus 15

She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!

JMichael 25

I laughed harder than I should have at this. Anyway OP sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation.

"Stop sleeping with raggedy bitches"

You shoulda texted back "I wasn't looking for this."

This is a terrible situation, at least chlamydia is treatable and she told you before it's too late. But dang..

Doesn't matter, had sex. And it's gone. Sorry to hear it though OP, at least now you know to stay clear from her.

At least chlamydia is very easy to cure. Use a condom next time if you don't want STDs.

Somehow i know exactly what she said to him!

#77 "I love bad bitches that's my ******* problem"

And this is what condoms were made for.

Yeah. He could always be panties. No one wants to be a pair of panties, especially in this case.

"You're excused, and I'm not your bra"

"Bra"? Seriously? Not even bro..! Man oh man, what a world i live in!

Would you feel okay if you just found out that you had gotten chlamydia from a girl that has bad taste in music?

ChopSuey444 20

Normal people at least put an 'h' at the end of 'brah' so that we can all live the rest of our lives without the underwear puns...

"Hey, I had sex with you. And this is crazy! I saw the doctor. I have chlamydia-a-a."

rocker_chick23 27

#24: It's spelled brah. Bra is something women and sometimes men wear under their clothes.

You took a horrendous song number three, and you made it worse. Congrats

Animekid126 13

Brah isn't even a word in the first place, second of all, they were making fun of number 2.

rocker_chick23 27

Actually 150: Brah is a word. Don't believe me? Here is the definition from the Oxford dictionary. A male friend or associate.

ahippienamedrae 10

Leave a flaming bag of poop on her doorstep.

KrazyKatz3 26

It's not her fault she has chlamydia... Did the OP even ask if she was tested? Or just use a condom.

cadillacgal79 32

No really, thank you Captain Obvious.

beaverteaser 16

You didn't put alot of thought into this comment did you??

Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.

homesuckfucker 28

a better ending would be "get tested, baby"

A better ending would be if the song had never been created.

homesuckfucker 28

a horrible song always makes for hilarious parodies.

pwnman 33

31 is right. The last line makes it sound not good.

Fine, if any staff member reads this can they edit my original post? Don't say i'm not good to you people.

Yeah okay. Don't thank me or anything.

Sorry, was 7am when i posted that. Thanks Sirin you're the best :3.

homesuckfucker 28

Sirin's edit was better than my edit.

Hey, I just ****** you. And you were lazy. Should have worn a condom. Get tested maybe.

RainbowRaindrop 1

Nice lyrics. Do you have experience with this kind of thing? ;) Jk

I hope for your sake that you used a condom!

If he had used a condom, this would not be a FML.

And a condom is always 100% effective...

Condoms are 90 percent effective .. Says right there on the box here "read this"

condoms, bro. regardless, that's ****** up. good luck.

euphoricness 28

Condoms don't protect from std's

euphoricness 28

Sorry I meant don't always*

euphoricness 28

Nah I'm not being serious. OP shoulda worn a condom because they are 100% effective fighting off those diseases. There would've been absolutely no way he coulda contracted any disease if he used one!

Euphoricness - Right you are. Instead, OP should never use a condom and always risk STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Your plan is genius, sir.

DrownedMyFish 18

Yes, condoms are not effective all the time. However, according to statistics, they are effective around 98% of the time when used correctly. OP's chances of chances of contracting an STD would have decreased drastically. Moral of the story: Sex is cleaner with a packaged Weiner!

ColonelCusswords 24

@euphoricness, are you joking or just really really stupid

DaMann360 19

DocBastard is alive!!! I was beginning to think you stopped using FML completely! Only long term FML users would understand.

I think euphoricness could have worded his comment better, but you guys are giving him a bit of an (undeserved?) bad rap. He *does* have a point. Condoms are great, but I'm pretty sure their primary function is preventing pregnancy, not STDs (just how they're designed): while they're highly effective for some STDS (e.g. HIV) they can be pretty useless against herpes (which can be transmitted through skin-skin contact not covered by a condom) and HPV, and the effectiveness rate for everything in between varies considerably from virus to virus. Research data in this field is dark and full of (systematic) errors. Lots of papers contradicting each others' results. Honestly, the only way to be really safe is if both of you get tested first.

wrap it before you tap it next time op put a helmet on your soldier next time. basically just put a condom on and you have reduced chances of contacting stds

She's generous and creative. Keep her!

Yes, she's so generous that she generously gave him chlamydia ! She's definitely a keeper!

Strider207 5

She managed to find the shitiest way to tell him that he has an std. She sure as hell is a keeper!!!