Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML
Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
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Top comments
s15c 9
Well, it's your job to raise her.
malikorslip 3
Which came first, the rabbit or the egg? ... Yeah that doesn't sound right
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Comments (197)
idoam 8
I'm sure the Easter Bunny isn't helping the confusion.
coop7291 3
then where do easter eggs come from??
redbluegreen 41
Jesus probably. Who would have thought a carpenter would be so good at decorating eggs?
RedPillSucks 33
The Christians adopted this and many other things from pre Christian rituals in their effort to get others to easily adopt christianity
sillycart 9
Well with easter being associated with eggs and rabbits it's understandable, to a point... And 13 is right about the Easter bunny
DocBastard 40
There's something seriously wrong with your relationship if an 11-year old girl somehow thinks it's ok to call her father a moron. She isn't supposed to do that until she hits puberty at 12 or 13 and you magically become the stupidest man on the planet.
G0odgrief 0
maybe she's an indigo child.
G0odgrief 0
sarcasm
coffee_man900 16
That's exactly right. Wait until she becomes a teenager and really knows everything. My girls are 16 and 17, and I'm just an idiot Father who doesn't have a clue. Good luck with that 11 year old OP. :)
DocBastard 40
Right now my 5-year old daughter thinks the world of me and I can do no wrong. I'm savoring every second of it while I can.
GODert 8
I thought most girls start getting puberty around like 11 and I just read that some girls get puberty around like 9 and 10.
G0odgrief 0
I don't think anyone gets puberty
l0v3p4in 7
Oh! You didn't know? Puberty is just like the common cold. Once one person gets it, everyone has it. It's quite contagious, so be sure to wash your hands often and wear a mask whenever you're in public so you don't breathe it in.
Heinousness 0
An eleven year old has no say into whats right and wrong in this situation. Show her a bunny birth on you tube.
TheFamilyElf 17
Where do you expect her to think the Easter bunny gets magic eggs full of candy from?? Jk, but somehow that sounds like a parenting fail to me.
TheFamilyElf 17
Thanks friend, will do.
HonestTruth 5
You see as a parent, you teach your kids, and punish them if they disrespect you. Not tell a website until later.
Pandacupcakelove 26
I don't think children need punishing at all. You just have to teach them from a young age what's ok and what's not. If they keep doing it afterwards, you'll maybe have to yell at them, but i don't believe in punishing. I think all that will lead to is a broken relationship between parents and their kids. I can't say i know this, I'm only 14 and have got no parenting skills whatsoever, but that's how i was raised. I have never ever been punished, I never disrespect my parents and most people say I'm really polite! So there you go, torture is not necessary ;)
Unlucky_Gun 0
Yeah but if kids aren't punished they won't learn their lesson
RedPillSucks 33
I believe OP doesn't believe in punishment either, which is why his daughter feels free to call him a moron. By the way, no one said torture . Don't equate that with punishment
HonestTruth 5
100 - So you are saying, that you did something wrong and your mother punished you. Since she punished you, you learnt your lesson and never did it again.
sharksforever 0
oh wow
br0ccoli 15
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with dumb kids, no offense, OP. If you don't start telling her to question things and double check facts, she's going to think that everything everyone tells her is real.
bitch_pleez 10
Of humans, not rabbits.... maybe you're the one who should go back to school