Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML
Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
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Top comments
s15c 9
Well, it's your job to raise her.
malikorslip 3
Which came first, the rabbit or the egg? ... Yeah that doesn't sound right
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Comments (197)
Laxinitup 18
Talking out of turn... That's a paddlin. Being disrespectful... That's a paddlin. Not listening... That's a paddlin. Calling me a Moron... You better believe that's not a paddlin, that's a "I'm gonna beat the attitude out of you". (Quoting Jasper from The Simpsons; edited to be funny in this situation. This is meant to be all in good fun don't take it seriously).
xplainphrox 8
I agree to the spanking. I'm sorry. Spare the hand, spoil the child. No one should hit a person with anything but their hand! Ever!!! This sort of thing shows in my own household. I spank as needed, my husband doesn't. So when he tries to correct them for something - they laugh at him... When Mommy corrects them, the understand. I explain why they got spanked. They get the pat on the bottom. They are grounded anywhere from 1 hour to 7 days- depending on severity of the issue...
xplainphrox 8
Btw my 7 kids are 6 thru 20. They are 'his' , 'hers' and 'ours'... Very rarely does any of them get more than 2 days grounding.
RedPillSucks 33
They teach that rabbits make a healthy snack
LennyComa 39
Put her in a better school or teach her some shit
kidclarke 15
Your arguing with an 11 year old and who's the moron?
t765234 10
You're misusing the word "your", I believe that makes you the moron.
Sodamncold 0
Oh wow ya thats HORRIBLE. If that's fml worthy then I might as well say that my hang nail got pulled of and it really hurts FML
linkinpark98 24
Does she think the Easter Bunny is real?
laurenmacias 0
Smart daughter
bagoroth 2
Wait... They don't!?
iziepop 6
After reading this my 11 year old brother said "But they do lay eggs" I then called him a moron lol
XxDancerGirlxX 17
Time to take her our back and end her misery.