Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML
Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
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Top comments
s15c 9
Well, it's your job to raise her.
malikorslip 3
Which came first, the rabbit or the egg? ... Yeah that doesn't sound right
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Comments (197)
Chrispayne 4
Send her off to a place that breds rabits and let her clean the cages and take care of the bunnies so she can see first hand thats not an egg coming out.
zakkcarter 7
Shes right! The easter bunny lays eggs lol
KILLERTOAST13 4
School systems help so much don't they?
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Now do you see what Easter does to your kids!
Tempest559 12
They don't?
TheGothGamerGirl 20
Easter bunny. No need for further explanations.
bizarre_ftw 22
Ahhh Easter, confusing children since an improbable schizophrenic turned into a zombie (religious people leave me alone) ((ps I hope I got Easter right, given this comment it would suck if it's actually a celebration for something different))
CommonSenseDied 2
Tell her she's so wrong because everyone knows that rabbits poop out jelly beans, duh! Hasn't she seen Hop? Lol!
Deadzombie 2
You raised her... Your fault. The end.
iBanana 17
Am I the only one that caught that she meant sexual eggs....?