Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML
Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
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Top comments
s15c 9
Well, it's your job to raise her.
malikorslip 3
Which came first, the rabbit or the egg? ... Yeah that doesn't sound right
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Comments (197)
afropuffjake 9
More like blind faith and not critically analyzing religious statements. Here's a middle finger from America just for you buddy ;-) ,,I,
MattZAX 9
She probably got it from the Easter bunny
Random951 12
Your daughter called you a moron, You must be a superb parent.
ArentWeAll 4
You ARE a moron. Where do you think the Easter Bunny gets his eggs then? Hmm?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Please be joking.
rubberduckie94 13
A child past the age of five calling me a moron would earn a slap across the face. Go on thumb me down and call me a child abuser that needs to go to jail, but If a child did respects me like that I will "disrespect" them right back.
apm2629 2
wait... Easter bunny? you mean... Noo!!! I will not accept it!!!
Vanilla1Thrilla 0
Damn that Cadbury bunny!!!
my2centsworth 15
Wow! A twofer! FYL for having a stupid child, and YDI for having a disrespectful child.
The_Hitdude 12
In itskaylabitch's defense, she probably meant (take notes kayla-it's meant, not ment!) Biology. But regardless, it was still an idiotic comment.
EffYoLife 14
You should have popped her in the mouth for speaking to you that way. Then forced her to read biology books on birds and rabbits for a month. And quiz her on it to make sure she's really reading it.