Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML
Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
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Top comments
s15c 9
Well, it's your job to raise her.
malikorslip 3
Which came first, the rabbit or the egg? ... Yeah that doesn't sound right
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Comments (197)
DingoCJ 15
Way to ruin Easter for you're kid
t765234 10
I truly wish that I could reach through my Ipod and punch you in the face.
xplainphrox 8
3 observations... First it is close to Easter, and the Easter bunny 'does' bring the eggs.. So... Understandable... But at 12 thinking that...? Brings me to #2 - you raised her... Right? You didn't teach her correctly I guess... Which leads me on the path to #3 - wtf is your 12 yr old calling you any names for??!!!!! I am not into abuse, but- disrespecting an adult is a punishment she needs to be punished for!!! Otherwise she will end up like the shit heads across the road from me -.-
xplainphrox 8
Oops. Typo. Kid was 11 not 12.
PizzaIsDavid 5
She thinks that because of the Easter Bunny, damn Christians.
t765234 10
You misspelled "corporate holidays".
DracoSpirita 21
Well played.
jmichael11 9
Haha and the idiocracy of present day Easter tradition continues.
WorldsGhost 2
Well she's right. You are a moron. It's the damned Easter Bunny. Duhhhh! :P
wuzzup969 2
There's actually a breed of rabbit called the Wungo Rabbit that posses the ability to lay eggs. They are found in the South America.
ryanbeast 7
Rabbits don't lay eggs!?!?!?!?!?
kitta22 6
You don't have to smack anyone to let them learn respect. Just let them knowyour in charge,like time out. Exercise or grounding there is never any need for hitting a child
kitta22 6
That was to#35 who commented on #1
st3phr0 2
Well its not her fault that media puts rabbits and eggs together during easter season! What else is she suppose to think? Stupid media telling us what to believe! Ask her if she thinks the easter bunny is real! Lmfao!