Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the...

By gonnafail - 16/11/2013 20:18 - United States - York

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45588

You deserved it

3265

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Call CPS!

Caught red-handed

Yappy neighborhood

By hatemebeforetheyevenhatch - 24/2/2015 00:08 - United Kingdom - Clydebank

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33608

You deserved it

5735

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/5/2011 21:53 - Ireland

Today, I was getting funny looks all day. When I got home I realised that I was interrupted while doing my make-up this morning and completely forgot to fill in my second eye brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17892

You deserved it

28662

Favorite

By FBfail - 28/2/2010 13:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

I agree, your life sucks

42510

You deserved it

2980

Favorite

By yourmom - 16/6/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45327

You deserved it

4719

Favorite

By wow - 27/11/2019 05:00 - United States - Portland

Good shot

Today, for the first time in months, my best friend agreed to hang out with me. After waiting, three hours for him to show up, I called to see what was taking him so long. He told me he couldn't come because he needed to get a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1803

You deserved it

178

Favorite

By Pants-Girl - 24/11/2019 08:00 - Canada

Public surprise

Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

970

You deserved it

2361

Favorite

By brokenhearted - 19/1/2016 14:59 - Sweden - Kung?lv

Today, I told my boyfriend he's the only good thing left in my life. That's not a healthy relationship dynamic, he said, and ended up breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21888

You deserved it

3522

Favorite

By thanks_world - 26/12/2013 06:48 - United States - Everett

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41225

You deserved it

3101

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/2/2013 00:00 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46226

You deserved it

5071

Favorite

By gamerguru13 - 21/4/2013 12:26 - United States - New York

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

I agree, your life sucks

58772

You deserved it

4232

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/6/2019 00:15 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2048

You deserved it

203

Favorite

By kaitiem224 - 22/10/2015 02:52 - United States - Pratt

Today, my boyfriend of one year and seven months left me for not wanting to have a baby yet. I'm seventeen years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30844

You deserved it

2831

Favorite

By me - 21/3/2013 10:25 - United Kingdom - Chichester

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51745

You deserved it

6590

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/7/2019 00:01

Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2114

You deserved it

258

Favorite

By sick of this shit - 12/3/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20805

You deserved it

1737

Favorite

By grossew - 26/6/2019 07:00

Today, my farm dog and I are spending the weekend in an urban area. She won't poop on concrete, so I directed her to a nice two-foot tall grassy median. As she vaulted up onto the median, two turds shot out of her ass and plopped right on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1414

You deserved it

282

Favorite

By Eli - 14/1/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26656

You deserved it

3620

Favorite

By themanzz - 8/10/2010 12:08 - Canada

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27473

You deserved it

8600

Favorite

By jalapeno_popper - 21/1/2010 20:16 - Canada

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7582

You deserved it

34567

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36434

You deserved it

13080

Favorite

By Upfront - 6/4/2016 05:19 - United States - Denver

Today, I confronted my very passive-aggressive roommate about taking out the trash. With a smug smile, she insisted that I should write her a letter if I want to argue. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17980

You deserved it

1468

Favorite

By xUnluckyx - 18/3/2010 05:45 - Canada

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34013

You deserved it

3721

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/1/2015 23:24 - Sweden - Huddinge

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27805

You deserved it

3084

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/4/2013 10:29 - France - Paris

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34052

You deserved it

10589

Favorite

By Elephant1718 - 12/6/2013 01:16 - United States - The Dalles

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46740

You deserved it

3027

Favorite

By pirsquared - 28/1/2012 01:20 - United States

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11811

You deserved it

36487

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/3/2015 04:23 - United States - Statesboro

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32286

You deserved it

5449

Favorite

By mn051299 - 10/2/2016 09:09 - Switzerland - Richterswil

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20247

You deserved it

3710

Favorite

By Caci Johnson - 15/10/2017 04:30

Today, I sat down at my computer for the first time in a week, and discovered that my cat threw up all over my keyboard. I needed to write up an important document but the chunks were stuck down in the keys, effectively locking it up and making it useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3509

You deserved it

584

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/9/2009 20:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7753

You deserved it

54287

Favorite

By pineapple456 - 16/2/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

60355

You deserved it

17855

Favorite

By don’tletthembite - 4/5/2020 02:00

Gifts for the whole family

Today, my trucker husband brought home roses for me, toys for the kids and bedbugs for the whole house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1562

You deserved it

Favorite

By go choke on a gonad - 8/8/2013 13:13 - United States - Dayton

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

I agree, your life sucks

45136

You deserved it

5562

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/4/2009 10:07 - United States

Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46250

You deserved it

17153

Favorite

By EmmaleeSupertramp - 14/2/2014 03:16 - United States

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42597

You deserved it

6929

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/5/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51730

You deserved it

4350

Favorite

By Username - 27/1/2010 08:35 - France

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41717

You deserved it

8932

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

29502

You deserved it

4132

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/10/2012 12:12 - United States

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30268

You deserved it

2088

Favorite

By Raiders4ever - 21/10/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43238

You deserved it

24915

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Nyx_fml | 23

#5757092 - Sunday 17 November 2013 2:52

He sounds like a walking meme.

By seriouslypony | 9

#5757106 - Sunday 17 November 2013 2:55

I feel you OP, once I got a debate partner whose rebuttal was "Well I'm right because you're a dumbass".
Thankfully we got graded individually.

Comments

By deviking | 10

#5757088 - Sunday 17 November 2013 2:51

I suppose he's been trolling to much

boxbrandon11 | 20

#5757129 - Sunday 17 November 2013 3:01

You mad, bro?

dingleberrysteve | 6

#5757173 - Sunday 17 November 2013 3:34

well was he mad bro?

BrandiLush | 31

#5757229 - Sunday 17 November 2013 4:12

*too

SilentNightz | 9

#5758334 - Monday 18 November 2013 2:43

To be honest, this FML post made me chuckle.

SarcasticShade | 16

#5760026 - Tuesday 19 November 2013 6:27

This needs an illustration.

By Nyx_fml | 23

#5757092 - Sunday 17 November 2013 2:52

He sounds like a walking meme.

\ | 28

#5757210 - Sunday 17 November 2013 4:01

"Haters gonna hate"

HeyHeyFishFillet | 34

#5757252 - Sunday 17 November 2013 4:29

"Potatoes gonna potate"

gc327072 | 29

#5757327 - Sunday 17 November 2013 5:38

"Gators gonna gate"

dingleberrysteve | 6

#5757362 - Sunday 17 November 2013 6:21

creepy cgan

dingleberrysteve | 6

#5757363 - Sunday 17 November 2013 6:22

chan*

cyttex | 13

#5757477 - Sunday 17 November 2013 9:05

What are you trying to spell 54?

masterof1 | 7

#5757997 - Sunday 17 November 2013 20:13

Debators gonna debate

By teamlightskin | 14

#5757093 - Sunday 17 November 2013 2:52

Hopefully your teacher will understand and not let it effect your grade.

griggypop | 4

#5757146 - Sunday 17 November 2013 3:13

I could be wrong as I haven't yet googled it but I think is affect

\ | 28

#5757240 - Sunday 17 November 2013 4:19

In this setting it's "affect." Some advice I recall was that if you don't know whether to use "effect" or "affect," just use "impact." Works just as well :)

Lacist | 19

#5757257 - Sunday 17 November 2013 4:33

I think effect as a result and affect as currently idk that's just me and it works.

Nyx_fml | 23

#5757263 - Sunday 17 November 2013 4:35

Both 'affect' and 'effect' can be used as a noun or a verb. So, Google if you must!

Robbieisadowg | 16

#5757341 - Sunday 17 November 2013 5:53

#36 As the saying goes, "Synonyms are for when you don't know how to spell a word".

rocker_chick105 | 31

#5757693 - Sunday 17 November 2013 15:19

39- no, affect is a verb, and effect is a noun.

Paracosmic | 5

#5757859 - Sunday 17 November 2013 18:56

"Effect" can also be used as a verb. It has a different meaning from that of "affect," however.

Topasofmagic | 17

#5759500 - Monday 18 November 2013 23:48

God damnit, where were you with this info when I had my english exam/essay?! I spent like 10 minutes (of 50 minutes) trying to remember which one to use... :'(