Miscellaneous: Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the...

By crazyjohnny - 01/06/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 299

You deserved it 7 945

Miscellaneous

Hiding from the drama

Another great day to be alive

Squeezed one out

By owmyfoot - 24/02/2014 02:22 - United States - Sacramento

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 40 776

Take the hints

By Unwanted - 03/11/2015 19:10 - Austria

Today, my boyfriend declared he doesn't feel ready to move in with me for at least "some more years". We have already been together for five years. When he bought an apartment one year ago, he kept it a secret for three months. Maybe I should learn to take a hint. Or several hints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 564

You deserved it 4 595

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 372

You deserved it 10 119

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 463

You deserved it 4 389

Not so ready to rumble

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 14:00

Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 137

By genderbender - 17/11/2010 01:21 - Reserved

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 911

You deserved it 26 968

By dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 898

You deserved it 4 152

By RIP - 07/10/2012 18:34 - Finland - Espoo

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 604

You deserved it 1 808

By Cherie - 31/08/2009 21:18 - United States

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 691

You deserved it 10 407

By cheesy grin - 11/06/2018 19:00

Today, my front tooth randomly fell out in the middle of class. I brush regularly and visit the dentist, the tooth was perfectly healthy looking, and it didn’t hurt beforehand or bleed. It literally just fell out for no reason. Now I have a gap grin and I don’t know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 946

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 02:00

Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 484

By Lonely_Army - 25/05/2012 16:03 - Qatar

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 472

You deserved it 3 133

Victim blaming

By Anonymous - 28/08/2014 21:16 - Portugal

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 051

You deserved it 3 472

By ThroatSlasher - 17/08/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 604

You deserved it 2 408

By Noname - 10/03/2009 15:46 - United States

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 210

You deserved it 69 445

By ObviousBooty - 17/07/2016 07:31 - United States - Kankakee

Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 858

You deserved it 3 691

By kcd - 23/02/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 844

You deserved it 57 120

By alli67 - 22/11/2014 03:26

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 396

You deserved it 7 961

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 20:00

Today, I found out my friends replaced the water in my bottle with vodka when all my fish died. Any water I don't finish the night before, I pour into my tank the next morning. Thousands of dollars and years hard work, gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 598

You deserved it 1 654

Weaponised chocolate

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 04:46 - Australia

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently, somebody saw me. I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 065

You deserved it 28 114

Fiancé of the year

By Anonymous - 13/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I found out that my fiancé of three years, with whom I share a child, fell in love with my best friend and they’ve been going on dates for the last four months after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 124

By titillating - 12/03/2012 04:28 - United States

Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 837

You deserved it 4 518

By Ozzie - 29/09/2017 19:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my 81-year-old mother threw out the packaging for a 3-day-old $1,700 monitor I was going to return due to a defect. I live in my own home, but she randomly visits to "clean up" without asking me. Now I'm stuck with an expensive, defective monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 610

By -_____- - 31/07/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 8 035

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 16:24 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 304

You deserved it 4 896

By wtf - 29/11/2010 16:05 - United States

Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 171

You deserved it 4 234

By anonymous - 19/07/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 614

You deserved it 3 413

Four to the floor, I was sure…

By jalapeno_popper - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself, and it came down too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 766

You deserved it 35 437

By live2dance4ever - 06/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went to attend my summer school class again after being out sick for a week. When I said "Here" during roll call, everyone started cheering and clapping. Apparently, my professor has been badmouthing me while I've been absent for pretending to be sick. I'm sure my grade will be fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 194

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 954

You deserved it 1 680

By scruffy - 10/05/2011 17:24 - United States

Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 008

You deserved it 37 966

By period_probs - 16/12/2014 01:23 - United States - King George

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 459

You deserved it 3 019

By kumcat - 11/01/2015 05:57 - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 892

You deserved it 3 950

Donut laugh at me

By sdeeter - 29/04/2013 13:39 - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 831

You deserved it 9 127

By Jlhfan90 - 03/10/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 804

You deserved it 18 972

By Nuttree - 01/08/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 338

You deserved it 6 857

By Joanna - 27/12/2018 18:00

Today, during sex I said my side dick's name instead of my boyfriend. He isn't speaking to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 12 240

By crap car - 30/03/2016 01:13 - United States - Golden

Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 986

You deserved it 1 833

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 988

You deserved it 11 934

By Anonymous - 14/10/2017 20:00

Today, I offered to let my niece and brother stay at my apartment, as my brother was going through a rough divorce and had lost his job. After coming home from work, I found my niece had snapped all of my pencils and had ruined over ten years worth of artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 534

You deserved it 324

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Top comments

emery52 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 15:56

Just point to your friend & say-this is why. Case closed.

Ravemaster7 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 16:12

Team grading is as stupid as grading a debate is as stupid as debating the legalization of marijuana in school. Everyone knows what the teacher wants to hear anyway. But it's funny that your partner was stoned and the team arguing for the legalization of it won.

ladyjane_fml 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 15:53

Epic. :D

jrsgreenfire257 0

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Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:43

i won a math debate! i won a math debate! say that 10 x fast! xD

StonerkidDGK420 0

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Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:47

I'm sorry... You got the rough side of the stick on that one. Weeds pretty damn good hard to prove that it's bad.

wchil 14

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Wednesday 20 May 2015 20:37

@201 its actually pretty easy but once you say one thing about.it being bad the whole world denies it even if you have experienced it

Helldemon 32

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Monday 16 May 2016 23:10

Ya, that whole curing cancer and preventing seizures thing is so horrible and should definitely not be allowed

Drunkbunny 2

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Monday 1 June 2009 15:56

YDI because weed SHOULD be legal.

emery52 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 15:56

Just point to your friend & say-this is why. Case closed.

emery52 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 15:57

This FML is lame..

Dogmaw 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 15:59

#2 is right. Think on your feet. After all, yer the one NOT using :)) Sorry about the F.

papertigers_fml 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 16:01

Irony!

MechEngineer 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 16:06

You cant legislate stupidity, thats for sure.

gaby904 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 16:10

#2.. when I had debates in my english classes, we didn't get to choose which side we were on, so we had to come up with an argument even if u believe in it or not FYL for having irresponsible stupid partners. Just ask your teacher for an exception, I'm sure she/he'll understand because it isn't really your fault

coolcatsparty 0

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Friday 23 April 2010 3:00

in soviet russia weed smoke you

Ravemaster7 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 16:12

lagodfatha 0

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Friday 16 April 2010 20:26

actually the teacher I had when doing a debate on the legalization of weed used to be a huge druggy and really just wanted to hear what we thought about it

smellymellyy 7

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Saturday 12 March 2011 10:25

in my biology class my teacher actually was for legalising cannabis because it is really useful when treating MRI sufferers and it's also looked at like its some horrific drug when it's not much worse than smoking, and therefore people smyggle and smoke it etc cos they think theyre hard and badass. its a gateway drug to other and worse drugs too.