Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my husband started his midlife crisis with a bang, or rather several bangs, as he admitted that there are two women out there pregnant with his babies. Oh, and he quit his job to escape the daily grind. Oh, and he remortgaged the house to buy a truck so we could go cross country. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML
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Top comments
tony1891 22
a tractor? doesn't sound like mid life crisis to me. sounds like he's starting a farm. all you need now is some animals.
stevenmx86 8
I don't understand why this is so bad? So it's not a bad ass car.. Tractors hold value better anyway.
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Comments (126)
ICATiger 13
Are you kidding me!!! If you're 16 or older you can drive that bad boy. Tractors licence here I come!!
emba_fml 13
if you're 16 or older you can drive a regular car, too
mhopper 13
Yeah, driving a super slow vehicle sounds exhilarating
hrg729 11
#17 OP is from the UK, we have to wait until we're 17 to drive a car, but it's 16 for a motorbike or tractor.
Llamacod 11
actually, depending on which state you live in, if you live on a farm you can get a "farmers" license at 14 where you can drive
crazy1999 1
Where i live you just have to be old enough to reach the cluth as long as your drivin from one part of your farm to the other
country4life17 0
Wouldn't hurt to do some actual work anyway bud. It's good for the soul.
freshlybreezy 15
Agreed.
mhopper 13
Maybe he meant to buy a Ferrari and was suckered in to getting the tractor? Salespeople are very convincing!!
SloppyFlamingo 4
That must be one damn good salesman.
caplox 6
think about it When you drive the tractor on the highway youll be getting a lot more stares than a porsh or ferrari!
RadioOctopus 16
My dad bought a fork lift the other day, we have no use for it but he thought it'd be cool.
marcoshid 4
i can understand that, i do stuff like that all the time.
RadioOctopus 16
Today he bought a building to put on the land he bought for the forklift...... Were a middle class family with bills to pay.. Fml
freshlybreezy 15
There's nothin wrong with tractors! I got one for my 16th birthday. I'll take a tractor over a sports car any day.
staymintyfresh 13
Wait, you drive around town in a tractor?
Calyx_fml 22
I love your photo 29. Really well composed.
_wraith 15
Could be a whole lot worse. Besides, he's going through a tough time right now. Try to be a little more understanding, and don't get too upset about missing out on one summer vacation. All is not lost - believe in the Force.
groupleader 7
Dad lookin to pick up a farmers daughter, good for him.
Reccyar2468 3
I wish my dad brought me a new tractor, i was driving our current one last weekend mowing a field to get some practice for my MO1 tractor competence test, there was so much rust on the roof that it kept falling on my head! I guess we will just have to get a new roof on it and do some more welding :). You can get loads of attachments for tractors, at my college we go to some lessons on a trailer with seats that is attached to the back of a tractor, you can buy sprayers, mowers, drills... and many other things that are controlled by the PTO on a tractor. Make the most of what you have! You could even go out and get paid to mow peoples fields if you want :)
tattoomommy10 0
all I could think about while reading this was that song she think my tractor sexy