Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my husband started his midlife crisis with a bang, or rather several bangs, as he admitted that there are two women out there pregnant with his babies. Oh, and he quit his job to escape the daily grind. Oh, and he remortgaged the house to buy a truck so we could go cross country. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML
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Top comments
tony1891 22
a tractor? doesn't sound like mid life crisis to me. sounds like he's starting a farm. all you need now is some animals.
stevenmx86 8
I don't understand why this is so bad? So it's not a bad ass car.. Tractors hold value better anyway.
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Comments (126)
perdix 31
Planting crops is a pretty harmless way to deal with a mid-life crisis. If your dad suddenly decides he needs to raise sheep, then ewe should be nervous.
1710_fml 0
Tractors are way more fun than fast cars
pierricdu11 4
I'm sure u r so happy about this news x)
3040evan 2
Can someone say spoiled?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Spoiled What do i win?
hateevryone 15
Well that's what he wanted.
MrFuzzles 5
Come and take a ride on my big green tractor, we can go slow or we can go faster.
Dogbite1313 5
Down through the woods and out to the pasture Long as I'm with you it really don't matter
stormchaser24 24
Well, better a tractor than a $100,000+ car. Also tractors hold value better. My dad still has his John Deer from 25 years ago and still runs.
tj4234 36
omg I would love to own a tractor. Even if they do cost ridiculous amounts of money. My best friend is a farmer and she owes me a ride in her tractor (no innuendo intended... damned rule 34).
crazy1999 1
You can get a farmall m for $1500 if it hasnt been restored
freddykrueger56 2
Lol wow
seth_harris 0
Pimp that tractor. Some hydraulics and street lights would get you all the farm bitches.