Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my husband started his midlife crisis with a bang, or rather several bangs, as he admitted that there are two women out there pregnant with his babies. Oh, and he quit his job to escape the daily grind. Oh, and he remortgaged the house to buy a truck so we could go cross country. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML
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Top comments
tony1891 22
a tractor? doesn't sound like mid life crisis to me. sounds like he's starting a farm. all you need now is some animals.
stevenmx86 8
I don't understand why this is so bad? So it's not a bad ass car.. Tractors hold value better anyway.
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Comments (126)
lucyinthesky420 10
Even if he bought a Porsche or Ferrari it's not like he'd allow you to drive them.. So your summer holiday will suck either way. Good day :)
eccentrix 12
I don't get why you don't get a summer holiday because he bought a tractor. Is it because of the noise?
JessalynVictoria 6
You can take a ride on my big green tractor, make it go slow or we can go faster... Tractors aren't always a bad thing lmao. ;) (please someone get the song reference... Lol)
mbrooks5110 0
Look at it this way: he likely wouldn't let you drive the fancy car, he'll let you drive the tractor. :)
alymartin 1
Lml! Wanna borrow my car,? Jkjk
ChrisG93 8
Is the offer to borrow your car only for the OP? I'd like to drive it. Lol
xPlayerofDeathx 0
Farmer life, eh? Pity.. You should go and sell the tractor, or keep it, sell all your items, and live the Amish life.
Driveshaft 5
Trying very hard to figure out why this affects your summer.
xRedRockerx 5
What's wrong with tractors? It's my ideal life. Me, the tractor and the open corn fields~ I'm not even joking.
xRedRockerx 5
Tractors cost money and so do summer holidays so I'm assuming they can no longer afford a holiday. On the bright side you can drive down to Somerset and you'll be welcomed with open arms.
_highandlow 5
Summer is happening regardless unless the world ends tonight. Quit your whining