Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my father was cussing loudly because he lost at a Clash Royale game. He then blamed it on me for not sending him cards, and threatened to delete me from all his social media accounts. Dad, I love you, but you're downright insane. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML
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Top comments
sens3sfailing 25
it sounds like your dad is either awesome, or needs to quite his job as a rat farmer.
Welshite 40
Your username is "goodbye cruel world"? You brought this on yourself.
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Comments (106)
Charger_SRT8 0
Best 2/3..? No? Dammit.
Buzzy123 7
If your username is something like XXX-_-69kuSH420SWAGboii I can see why and I hope it wasn't
wickedninja918 1
no it's "goodbye cruel world"
a_lenzmeier 11
Somebody else remembers Wolfenstein? Color me shocked!
krylonpony 3
A game of CoD? That's nothing compared to a duel of Starcraft or league of legends against Korean son and dad. And or spit the watermelon seeds furthest competition with black southern son and dad.
goose12321 11
Was it his first time playing it? Or does he secretly own in his spare time?
hellproof023 6
If you know your dad plays maybe you should have thought about his skill level ... If he doesn't and you own a game you got owned at from someone who doesn't even play? Maybe you should reconsider your hobbies
JCxParkour 3
I'll play him to let you off haha!
fiz1kaL 6
God damn n00b. I offer inexpensive lessons, guaranteed to improve your game. Message for details
hellproof023 6
That is an advertisement which is not allowed.
dancinwookie 21
Exactly. The newer generations may have been playing from right out of the womb, but OPs father was, likely, around for the birth of gaming systems. You younger generations do not realize the time and tested patience we had to endure in those days; faulty remotes and glitches could ruin an entire day's work with no way to save your game. That means you had to restart everyday thus making you a master of the craft.
winkydog4056 16
Anyone who profusely swears at a laptop, misbehaving or not, has a lot more to worry about than getting their ass kicked by dad.