Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it's actually because I don't have any friends to invite over. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
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Top comments
SammieIsabella 15
I don't understand why some parents feel the need to destroy their children's confidence. He should be building you up, not tearing you down.
Makko 20
I thought I was too, then I changed the way I acted about myself. Try and make fun of yourself, it works most of the time;)
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Comments (55)
Hauclir 14
One of the many problems money can solve.
daddysgirl243 21
new parenting styles
Fmlsea 28
if you act/ try to have some confidence and started socializing, you would probably find more people would start to take notice of you.after all you cant take notice of someone who always wants to blend in with the walls.
worldclassrager 41
So your future girlfriend will show you the ropes for it...that might be fun...
sbarua219 17
Don't worry OP, someone great will come your way! Don't have pointless, loveless sex like most people. Just stay strong and someone will appreciate you for you!
vikky538 29
Tell your dad that every dog has its day. And one day your day will come too.
iLuvfatchickz 4
He could have at least did it for practice
NightKat 25
There's hope for you OP My overtly weird and super awkward friend just got a girlfriend and has a better sex life than me.
jdykid 13
Sex is horribly overrated OP wait till you find someone who likes you for you, social awkwardness and all :)
LonelyMusician 14
My parents never gave me the sex talk. I'm In the same boat as you.