Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it's actually because I don't have any friends to invite over. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
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Top comments
SammieIsabella 15
I don't understand why some parents feel the need to destroy their children's confidence. He should be building you up, not tearing you down.
Makko 20
I thought I was too, then I changed the way I acted about myself. Try and make fun of yourself, it works most of the time;)
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Comments (55)
simmybaby_ 13
People have all types. Keep your head up.
Cads1 24
Prove him wrong and bang everything that moves.
BranzerMyDoggie 10
No offence but it's almost supposed to be kind I'm guessing. If he was genuinely just worried people would reject you don't worry Because you Always Have family
apaul982 14
So your not getting any STDs and paying child support. Abstinence is your friend. Embrace it.
sturschaedel 27
Learn to love yourself the way you are. Think about it: do you really expect somebody you could love to like something you despise and still be a match for you? Also, from your story I'd guess you are at the tail end of puberty or in your twenties, age-wise. Most people are kind of arkward at that age.
firecracker5 11
Even the social awkward need to get laid
Morning_fml 22
Let's be real, the only way to get a girl is to be confident no matter how you look. The way I see it, as long as you aren't 100% ugly (which I doubt anyone is), & you're polite & clean to yourself, you will find somebody for you.
nomrana 14
If only u were drunk wif ur dad... the world would make much sense ? hehe
Darkness_Hate 29
You will find someone who will understand you.
chosha_fml 27
You got those genes from somewhere. And that person clearly got laid.