Miscellaneous: Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave...

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 2 384

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 163

You deserved it 5 833

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 2 883

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 12:27 - United States - New York

Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 518

You deserved it 1 874

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 813

By nerdwithagun - 24/12/2010 07:15 - United States

Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it's actually because I don't have any friends to invite over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 763

You deserved it 3 817

By suze44 - 13/06/2011 14:22 - United States

Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 823

You deserved it 5 281

By cheerbabeXoXo - 29/06/2013 21:49 - United Kingdom - High Wycombe

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 606

You deserved it 4 977

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 172

Thanks for sharing your inspiring story, Dad

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 23:00

Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 105

Go home

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 10:00

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 89

SammieIsabella 15

Saturday 27 June 2015 8:36

I don't understand why some parents feel the need to destroy their children's confidence. He should be building you up, not tearing you down.

Makko 20

Saturday 27 June 2015 8:31

I thought I was too, then I changed the way I acted about myself. Try and make fun of yourself, it works most of the time;)

Comments

jakeyjakey1232 9

Saturday 27 June 2015 22:03

I would normally get pissed off at the op but the father is probably very much better off without a coward for a son and a **** for a wife who doesn't understand that it's ok for her husband to watch ****. I'd say the father is probably happier away from such a shit household

Tannasgh 22

Saturday 27 June 2015 22:41

If you are male, I'm truly sorry. If you are female on the other hand, penises only have one eye, and it is blind as a bat...

moo77_fml 20

Sunday 28 June 2015 0:55

Ouch!! There's a someone for everyone .. Chin up!!

MenAreFromVegas 5

Sunday 28 June 2015 3:07

Him having the sex talk might have helped you be less awkward, as long as it was an informed, educational sex talk. He has done you a disservice, but you're more than capable of rectifying what was wanting in your upbringing. I would suggest joining FetLife and exploring the newbie forums. If you are considered too grotesque to find sexual fulfillment by "conventional" means (dating sites, singles night at the bar, etc.), you may find the BDSM community to be less judgemental than most. The focus is on safety and consent. And if you're what they call Vanilla, simply make your boundaries clear in any encounter, and respect your partner's boundaries and feelings as well. You will have a wonderful time.