Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it's actually because I don't have any friends to invite over. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
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Top comments
SammieIsabella 15
I don't understand why some parents feel the need to destroy their children's confidence. He should be building you up, not tearing you down.
Makko 20
I thought I was too, then I changed the way I acted about myself. Try and make fun of yourself, it works most of the time;)
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Comments (55)
jakeyjakey1232 9
I would normally get pissed off at the op but the father is probably very much better off without a coward for a son and a **** for a wife who doesn't understand that it's ok for her husband to watch ****. I'd say the father is probably happier away from such a shit household
Tannasgh 22
If you are male, I'm truly sorry. If you are female on the other hand, penises only have one eye, and it is blind as a bat...
moo77_fml 20
Ouch!! There's a someone for everyone .. Chin up!!
MenAreFromVegas 5
Him having the sex talk might have helped you be less awkward, as long as it was an informed, educational sex talk. He has done you a disservice, but you're more than capable of rectifying what was wanting in your upbringing. I would suggest joining FetLife and exploring the newbie forums. If you are considered too grotesque to find sexual fulfillment by "conventional" means (dating sites, singles night at the bar, etc.), you may find the BDSM community to be less judgemental than most. The focus is on safety and consent. And if you're what they call Vanilla, simply make your boundaries clear in any encounter, and respect your partner's boundaries and feelings as well. You will have a wonderful time.
stark_fear 15
At least it was his own kid he said that to... still feel bad for you!
StayFaithful 8
You'll find that one person
a1blue 12
Who the hell is OP?
RealSuperSand 21
Well... when you're right you're right. Just kinda sucks for you. FYL op.
sulvan182 15
I never got the "sex talk" .. I Turned out fine. Sort of ?
darlinguwillbok 7
You don't need to have meaningless sex just to prove him wrong or anything. Everyone is worthy and deserving of intimacy. It'll happen OP