Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, after getting my first debit card, I spent £60 on porn online. My mum made me print off a statement at the ATM as she wanted to know where my money had gone. She saw everything and cut up my card. FML
Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
joeyl2008 29
Why does anyone pay for ****? There are tons of free pornsites out there! Trust me I know.
\ 28
Deadbeat Dad strikes again.
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Comments (48)
laureri 26
Reverse it and have your dad mysteriously find some **** on your moms computer. Then be like, "We are so upset at you mom, how could you shame us like that?"
AlexRen 21
Well, if you can't win. I was going to say join em' but that would've quite awkward....
ziya1999 12
Uh oh. ****, thats some deep shit. Why didn't say you had nothing to do with it? Then again, I know exactly how doubtful and not trusting parents can be. She probably wouldn't believe you.
icepick23 12
**** is wonderful. Tell your prudish mom to stfu.
kurodansei 16
yup. that'll end well.
DanielleinDC 34
I hope your dad shares with you the password so you can access the site. Then go on to the site, change the name to his, change the password, and don't let your dad know the new password until he comes clean to your mom that he was framing you so he wouldn't have to come clean about his **** addiction.
sickerthanyou 13
Was the **** site called captain stabbin'?, I'd prefer crossed eye oriental milfs . com
Xotoolyxo 16
Why is he paying for **** in the first place? :O
mrwafflelover 4
I wish that happened to me! I'd take that **** subscription any second! Especially if I didn't have to pay
xadoringx 29
I'm sorry but that is so funny...evil.. But funny lol
Musiclover1482 9
Call me a buzz kill but if it were me i'd tell my mom the truth.