Intimacy: Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching... - FML

By porn daddy - 21/06/2017 00:00

Spicy

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 082

You deserved it 448

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Same thing different taste

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 9 974

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 01:02 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 069

You deserved it 2 438

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 1 334

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 151

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 2 777

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Spicy

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 196

You deserved it 5 876

So, it is not immoral ?

By Anonymous - 17/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my parents were arguing about their relationship. My mom, who is very Christian, yells at my dad for watching porn. My dad responds, "Of course I watch porn, I've told you! I have shown you!" He is also the one who stressed to me at a very young age that porn is immoral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 184

Go home

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 10:00

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 93

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 691

You deserved it 50 416

Red Right Hand

By Hollerz90 - 02/04/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 206

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 21 June 2017 0:28

Did you take notes? Some of those old dudes have access to really primo ****. Or so I've been told. :)

pjsr 32

Wednesday 21 June 2017 1:30

I hate when that happens. It's so much better when they can talk about their sessions without slurring.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 21 June 2017 0:28

Did you take notes? Some of those old dudes have access to really primo ****. Or so I've been told. :)

pjsr 32

Wednesday 21 June 2017 1:30

I hate when that happens. It's so much better when they can talk about their sessions without slurring.

David Elston 5

Wednesday 21 June 2017 6:37

Ahhh, family bonding!

tonyfan00 38

Wednesday 21 June 2017 7:03

Must have been hard to sit there and listen to that...

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 21 June 2017 7:53

Hard? Good one!

NirvanaLove 21

Wednesday 21 June 2017 22:47

No.

shea627 20

Wednesday 21 June 2017 7:36

Huh be. Beyy

tiitsmcgee 12

Wednesday 21 June 2017 8:00

bet you didn't see that cumming

pelletman67 16

Wednesday 21 June 2017 10:15

What do you mean by habits. The amount of ****? The kind of ****? Or the habits of what he does during ****?

species4872 19

Wednesday 21 June 2017 20:15

Are you sure he went off on a tangent and not a squiggly line?

I'madumbass 19

Wednesday 21 June 2017 22:50

Haha. Very funny. Lame math jokes never get old!!!!!

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The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 99

The Top

Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal, I poured the oats into the garbage and put the empty packet in a bowl, then microwaved it for 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 264

You deserved it 2 707

Today, I finally got my screaming, teething, 1-year-old daughter down for a nap to hopefully get some work done. The second I opened my laptop, FedEx dropped off a package and rang the doorbell. My dog went nuts. Then my neighbor rang the doorbell to let me know I had a package. My daughter's awake now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 796

You deserved it 954

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 726

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 048

You deserved it 3 703

Today, I was told to stop processing certain transactions at work because I'd tried to make rich people follow the same tax rules that we force poor people to follow to the letter. I'm guessing it won't be too long till I'm fired and blacklisted from this career I've had ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 138

You deserved it 250

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 807

You deserved it 6 547