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BUT, this shows how irresponsible he is with his money. He bought a ring he couldn't afford and then defaulted on the payments. If this is how irresponsible he is with his money now, it's probably not going to change. For me, Im into stability before I get married. Money is one of the leading causes of divorce, and I would prefer it not be an issue whenever I get married. So expecting myself and a future husband to have stable incomes that keep us comfortable is not asking too much.
At first I read that as "marriage is the leading cause of divorce." Also true. I've been engaged for a little while now and I don't have a ring. My fiance and I simply love each other and that's enough for us. There is a ring in the works, but it's nothing extremely fancy or expensive.
Harmony, that actually shows more financial responsibility/stability that the OP's fiance. Im not saying I want to be rich or anything, but I do want to be comfortable. Don't want to be struggling all the time, and if the OP's fiance is biting off more than he can chew, I wouldn't be ok with that. It shows a lack of discipline with finances. I'd hate to see how he handles the rest of his finances, i.e. rent, car payments, insurance, etc., etc.
I completely disagree with the people who say it's not about the ring. Size does matter. You want size and quality. At the same time, you need to buy a ring you can afford. You should NEVER finance a ring. The only time you should ever take out a loan is for your house. If you can't pay cash, you can't afford it.
weird and tt318...it really doesn't matter about the size or quality. And I think it's fine to take out a loan, or just do a pay over time. I mean my mom's ring was 7.8k and we already have loads of bills, so paying over time is great. So you shouldn't make predictions just because of what just happened now.
good, I wouldn't want to marry someone who can't even afford payments on an engagement ring anyway. what does that tell you about his financial background?
Wow are you ever shallow. So basically, if a guy can't afford to buy you, you won't marry him? And no, that wasn't a typo. I don't have an engagement ring, and I'm married. I don't want my husband to waste hundreds of dollars on a stupid ring. That money is better spent on, well, pretty much ANYTHING else! And I don't see what is the problem with her paying for it. Seriously... if you're about to get married, then his money is your money and your money is his money. It all comes out of the same pool. What I think it REALLY ridiculous is they ended the engagement simply because they can't afford a ring. Obviously, marriage is not this woman's topmost priority. It's shiny trinkets.
I completely agree on the points of not needing a ring to be engaged (or married), and that the OP shouldn't be expecting a man to "buy" her. However, I will concede in one area about the OP's significant other. He purchased an expensive item without having the funds to pay for it, which shows financial irresponsibility. Perhaps he had expected some money to come in, which didn't work out. But still, you shouldn't go purchasing something impractical if it means you won't be able to make ends meet. Not just a ring, but any unnecessary large expenses. This doesn't really seem like the OP's motivation, I'm speaking a bit more from my perspective. I see the ability to manage one's finances as an important part of being an adult, and since it is something which I have done for myself, I would expect a degree of it in anyone that I choose as a life partner. It's well-known that financial stress is one of the main causes of marital disputes, and even divorces. It probably would be best to postpone marriage until he gets his finances sorted out a bit better, although that could be accomplished through a longer engagement, not canceling it altogether.
If he has gifted it to you, its his responsibility.. Tell him to F off.. & if I were you, I wouldn't admit to receiving that "one" good thing from that loser.. ever...
Not so, legally speaking an engagement ring is usually not considered a gift. It is given in contemplation of marriage, and in most jurisdictions is considered part of a contract that ends with a marriage occurring, if the marriage does not occur, the ring needs to be returned.
this one just goes to show how non-materialistic everyone is.........n't
It's not really about being materialistic I don't think. It was a gift he's expecting her to pay for after already giving it to her. She might have been happy with something much cheaper for all we know, and he might have been the one to decided that no ring meant no engagement.
what if the poor bastard lost his job or has more important things to pay for? like oh i dunno food rent gas school etc? maybe the stuck up nitch insisted on a big rock she knew he couldnt afford and he bought it anyway