Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, after getting my first debit card, I spent £60 on porn online. My mum made me print off a statement at the ATM as she wanted to know where my money had gone. She saw everything and cut up my card. FML
Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
joeyl2008 29
Why does anyone pay for ****? There are tons of free pornsites out there! Trust me I know.
\ 28
Deadbeat Dad strikes again.
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Comments (48)
robmcm72 4
Paid **** site?!? Just google "FREE ****". There's so much out there. Ummm... Not that I would know or anything.
shadokis 15
damn that. Don't google shit OP. # 41 earlier suggested youporn.com. I was going to suggest pornhub.com, but they're in the same network of free vid sites. Open it up on his comp and just leave it for him to find. He'll figure it out.
Alchemist_21 26
Happy 18th birthday OP.
worldclassrager 41
Looks like someone stole your identity...
AcieMcG 21
Guess your dad hasn't ever heard of free **** ;)
Sports_guy3 28
Lol
FrankHotpants 31
The real FML here is that people are still paying for ****.
mrwafflelover 4
Hey dumbass, that's the best kind. Lol. Go on to brazzers. Then pornhub. Then tell me which is best
awilliams44 9
tell her u don't have the money for that lol
maggiefox 25
Lets hope it's not a weird fetish website haha
Nastorrian 11
Oh that's rich...
TheBlackRussian 13
You should have told your dad to go F_ck himself, it seems to me he'd enjoy it.