Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, after getting my first debit card, I spent £60 on porn online. My mum made me print off a statement at the ATM as she wanted to know where my money had gone. She saw everything and cut up my card. FML
Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
joeyl2008 29
Why does anyone pay for ****? There are tons of free pornsites out there! Trust me I know.
\ 28
Deadbeat Dad strikes again.
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Comments (48)
VampOfSavannah 31
That's gotta be hard.
Baucis 10
Your dad is an asshole.
pistachiopanda 19
I believe man code requires you to take one for the team on this one.
JMichael 26
No no man code is to look out for yourself.
Qwermy 16
yes, but OP's dad violated man code by not sharing the ****
ApollosMyth 22
You've got a shitty man code 24.
lailaxjan 11
I think it's interesting that the female knows more about man code than the "men." Maybe you guys should brush up on your knowledge.
xerbrus 14
the man code doesn't mean shit when honor is dead
Leewannabe 10
One does not have to be " a filthy **** addict" even if subscribing to a **** site.
Pleonasm 36
Just oblivious to the how the internet works.
mrwafflelover 4
Very true. They could be an orgy loving hobo XD Or a curious teenager
MarkToast 19
Your dad probably watched it and doesn't want to confess unfortunately
Bulldozer36 21
Try and look on the bright side, your dad owes you big time now and you can pretty much get whatever you want from him.
koalabear_55 11
His names on it though, doesn't matter what his dad says, if his dad will say anything
JustClaire95 13
ever hear you youporn.com? lol
REALAfroninga 11
Girls watch ****?
Gemini1999 7
Yes.
Joel_Morris 7
Apparently... Not that there's anything wrong with that
Jabberwockyy 13
It's actually quite common for girls to, just not as much as guys obviously.
geekbuscus 19
I'm going to disagree with the belief that guys watch more **** than girls. Before I got married, I could have given most, if not all, guys I know a run for their money. Don't forget that we can have more orgasms than you in a shorter period of time.
LowExpectations 30
Women definitely watch just as much **** as guys. Any women that claims otherwise is lying or not comfortable with the subject.
shadokis 15
Claire, Gemeni and geek.....I love you! Seriously though, my g/f and I watch **** together. She gets off on it more than me. Not that I don't enjoy it too.........
mrwafflelover 4
Wait. You're a chick eh? So therefore you shouldn't know the site. Hahaha
lil_ham1644 29
I don't have an issue with it, but I don't watch ****. Tried it, but it did nothing for me.
PenultimateTaco 14
FYL. Your dad deserves it for paying for **** when there's so much free material available but you're the one in the wrong here.
xReDMemory 28
Why is he in the wrong?
lailaxjan 11
I think you missed something...the dad put it in OP's name but OP had nothing to do with it.
MisUnFortunate 31
#47 is right, sorry #42 but you should learn to read.
lailaxjan 11
Why does everyone make such a big deal out of ****? I dont really watch it, but who cares if other people do?
WhisperSoflty 20
Some people feel it's a form of infidelity (when in a relationship), some don't like the objectification (of either sex), some don't like the sex industry as a whole (trafficking and such). I don't like my husband looking at **** for the first two reasons I listed, and I didn't like it even when I was single for the third. Not liking **** is just as valid an opinion/feeling as liking it.
xReDMemory 28
But as a mother,wouldn't you feel it's better than if he went and had sex with a girl and possibly get her pregnant?
amisenho 11
#73: Are you trying to justify cheating as a way to cope with being horny? So, there's no option of, say, keeping it in his pants like a rational adult when his wife isn't home and willing? Sorry, but I don't buy that.
xReDMemory 28
My sentence is about watching ****,not cheating. Not the same thing.
xReDMemory 28
And if having a SO means I can't ********** to **** until my wife/husband is home and willing or else I'm cheating,I'm glad to be single.
lailaxjan 11
Yeah... I personally don't see watching **** as cheating, and I'm a fairly jealous person. But to each their own.