Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four-month-old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
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Top comments
tweetyzyaw 20
Time to call the Fuzz
manateesarecool 13
She has a nice vocabulary
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Comments (119)
alfonze07 12
If she really does do drugs, just tell her that it's all in her head and that you don't hear anything.
cookie1207 19
That sounds like a direct threat! Call the police!
coldwar252 13
Call the police
samanthahaha 9
Hahaha I'm cracking up at this. Just because I have a neighbor exactly like this....
Just1Day 12
Using the language they did is grounds for Disorderly Conduct at a minimum in the States . If this just happened, don't waste time in calling the police. Also, keep a log of this and any possible future offenses. If this is your neighbor showing their true nature you may have a courtroom in your future. Congratulations on your new baby girl. Enjoy her.
mikbrooke 25
given its australia, that language is pretty common. what the OP could do is report her for threatening them, just in case something happens & so the police have a report of it.
Kidjazzin 17
I would call the police immediately.
driinkbleach 18
I can't believe some of the responses here about how irritating babies crying is. Have you people forgotten that you too were once babies that cried and annoyed your parents and othet people? Thats the cycle of life for everyone. They can't talk or help themselves in any way;all they can do is cry.
quackImapenguin 16
The fact that a baby can't be blamed for crying does not change the fact that a baby's crying is annoying. Besides, parents choose to have a baby and deal with the crying and they also got to experience the joys of having a baby. The neighbor got no choice in the matter of whether or not she'd have to deal with having her sleep disturbed by loud crying at night and she's not going to get to experience any of the fun parts of having a baby, so I can't blame her for being pissed that this is being inflicted upon her. Her way of expressing herself is questionable, but the feelings are 100% justified. Sleep is a basic human need and it's one thing to willingly give it up for a baby and quite another to have it taken from you against your will. I hope the parents are taking proper measures to put the crib in the location where the crying will be least audible to the neighbors.
Chaosin 18
While I suppose in a sense, the neighbor's annoyance is "justified", it isn't at the same time. If you think about it, OP was pregnant for a period of time moving in, the neighbor would have known and should have expected that sort of thing. That left the door open for the neighbor to move out. Then, if you go down the whole "planned to have the child" route, sometimes it's not in fact planned for a child to be born, so it all depends on the situation there. In any case, congrats OP to your baby, I'm sure she's a cutie! c:
Chantel_xo17 6
Idek what to say to that... What kind of person does that???
tchopper1969 16
it's a crackhead, put two in the chest and move on and raise your kid. no one will miss the bitch
Lola26042002 12
Neighbours are lovely, aren't they? Crangradulations on a new child!