Anonymous
United States
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Noname
Canada
Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML
Anonymous
Frederick, United States
Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML
EggyBum
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
To make an omelette
Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML
Eggs
Port Richey, United States
Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
eggs
Canada
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
eggonmiface
No yolk
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Millie07
United States
Trashed
Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML
Laura
United States
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
Top comments
flagg1888 3
Stop inviting eggs over and they will not get acquainted
Jacobt24 19
Make an omelette. They are already scrambled. Whoever threw them already did half the work.
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Comments (102)
Jacobt24 19
Make an omelette. They are already scrambled. Whoever threw them already did half the work.
Kyuubi1589 1
Halloween's early this year..
Jacobt24 19
Sounds like something a Transformer would eat
Keyman1212 14
I don't know who Heston is Alan, but his last name sounds like something old ass ladies with lung cancer would smoke.
TheBeastiest 6
Who is Heston blumenthal? Someone inform me. Because the whole name sounds like a cigarette brand. A new flavor for the cool kids to smoke call the Heston. Lmao. Or blu- menthal. Haha.
Keyman1212 14
Thanks 17, for repeating exactly what I just said, but phrasing so that your infinitesimally small mind could comprehend the joke that you obviously ripped off from me.
Kyzahhh 7
Cook up some crispy bacon and we got ourselves a feed
TheBeastiest 6
You are very welcome but I'm sure I made it sound slightly better.
Keyman1212 14
Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips
YourEvilHero 12
I'm on the toilet as I type this due to eggs. just a little heads up
Keyman1212 14
Thanks Alan. I always appreciate furthering my education.
kelsey_katie 17
29, A boy at my school had a shirt that said that.... I got confused:p
fanceh 10
Jelly cause your car gets more chicks then you do?
enonymous 8
I hope that Egg and Bacon ice cream is covered in tobasco or tapito
Enslaved 36
I've seen bacon on cupcakes before. It sounds interesting tasting sweet and salty at the same time. Sounds like a treat for the tongue.
cbdee 8
Mmm, maple/bacon doughnut, TY Voodoo doughnuts!
Jovecove 13
39 - it's epicmealtime's shirt! Bacon strips & Bacon strips & Bacon strips & Bacon strips &
lotto_boi 3
Huston trys to invent new kinds of foods so you dont eat popcorn at the movies
stacianichole 2
FYI, you're annoying and not as funny as you think. Thumb me down, I don't care.
bitchslapped22 14
I wish we could thumb up the FML teams' comments
kelsey_katie 17
57, Thank you!!! Lol
flagg1888 3
Stop inviting eggs over and they will not get acquainted
TheBeastiest 6
And you should stop living amongst provolone maybe then your comments won't be so cheesy
CryMoreFMLs 14
Maybe you should quit visiting the janitorial staff and having them shove brooms up your ass.
MEXIKANO 0
Haha ur 69. U kno wat it means?right?
ollie179 21
Those eggs could have been used to pelt your house as well. What a waste.
thatfrenchguy 8
Or an old lady could have replaced the eggs she broke when she put potatoes on her eggs. Cruel world...
nerdness 2
FYL... Sigh... Hooligans these days.
alejandratx 8
It could of been worse :/
TheBeastiest 6
Yeah. The eggs could have been hardboiled.
SammySteel 6
Or baseballs could have been thrown instead
guitarplayer546 0
Eggs on a car is really bad it eats away at the paint, I'd it's in the winter it will be even worse. A car is usually a large investment I really hate people that have no respect For Others property. Paint jobs aren't Cheap
missL1z 5
Did it cook?
lvlcapblue 0
Wash them off quick! Eggs severely eff-up car paint!
frozenshake 5
That makes me oddly hungry... I want scrambled eggs now :L
RockstarRN 10
When life gives you eggs...ah forget it! Sorry op, totally sucks!
kelsey_katie 17
Why are people thumbs-downing this?! It thought it was a great attempt at a joke, but it just failed. Thumbs up for you(:
happymelon 0
Because there is a constant stream of annoying comments from this person all the ******* time.
RockstarRN 10
Thanks!
RockstarRN 10
How pathetic is your life that you notice all that I post? Stalker!
jennyc246 8
63 - the girls have the eggs and the guys have the sperm.
FelixIsaac 0
But will it blend?